Missing You
by PottieLottie5000
Summary: I had the same dream last night. You remember, right? The one where we sit on his mom's car looking at the stars and everything's just so fucking perfect. Kyman.
1. Another day, another memory

Hi guys:)

This is my first fanfic ever! I am a HUGE Kyman fan and I thought I'd give writing a try. I had a story which I think just works playing around in my head and I had to write it!

Please don't hesitate to review and let me know if I did good!

Just letting you know, this story is from Kyle's POV.

**Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park or any of it's characters. I wish I fucking did though!

* * *

Chapter 1: Another day. Another memory.

I had the same dream again last night.

You remember, right? The one where we sit on his mum's car looking at the stars and everything's just so fucking perfect. It's when I wake up in the morning that I realise just how depressed I am. I need to snap out of it, I'm 16 years old! I'm supposed to be living life to the full and doing things like going to parties, getting drunk and getting laid. That kinda sounds alien to me though...

"Kyle, dude are you okay?"

I look beside me at a concerned Stan, my best friend. My super best friend. I smile the best fake smile I can, that's my new talent, I'd say, fake smiling. "Yeah Stan, I'm okay." I almost whisper. I don't think he was very convinced, he just nods at me and I turn to look out the bus window. Watching Colorado zoom by.

Wait, are you new?

When did you last see me? Elementary school?

Allow me to fill you in... alot has changed since then. I haven't changed as much as others however. Like many others, I have permanently ditched wearing my hat. I love that ushanka, don't get me wrong, it's my favourite colour. People always told me it went with my eyes. I guess I just wanted to keep up with all the fashion and shit, the hat was okay, but not particularly attractive. I didn't get rid of it, I just put it away... somewhere. I also had my fro tamed... that's right, I had a hair cut. It's now much neater and actually looks decent. Believe it or not, I don't really think I've grown much. I'm about 5"7, which isn't too bad. There are some taller and shorter people.

Stan, aka my super best friend, is still that. He's also ditched the hat and grown taller. He's a couple more inches taller than me, and has a lot more muscle.

Fuck that, I barely have any muscle myself.

Stan gets a lot of lady attention. He's really popular I guess you could say. However, his heart belongs to Wendy, who he's been dating for over a year, maybe two years, Moses knows. I've been asked out by a couple of girls... but always turned them down. I have a good reason for that, of course.

Kenny was late to class again. He stumbled into the classroom and took his seat which was directly behind me. He stunk of marijuana. Great. Me and Stan have told him time and time again about drugs, but he really doesn't give a shit about what we tell him. Stan, who sits to the left of me, turns around and snickers at him before turning back around to make himself look like he was paying attention to Mr. Garrison.

Kenny? Oh yeah, he's changed a lot. His orange parka is no more! He has a face, if you were wondering.

An attractive face. He gets attention, more than Stan does. However, Kenny uses it differently. What I'm trying to say... well... how can I put it delicately?

Kenny McCormick is a man-whore.

He uses his good looks to get girls into bed with him. He has lovely, long-ish blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

I wish I looked like him.

Nobody likes Friday. You can tell. Every single student in this room looks half asleep and that they'd really like to be somewhere else. Obviously desperate for the weekend to come.

I pause as I glance at the seat to my right. It's empty. Before you start to wonder, that's perfectly normal, it's always empty. It just makes me sad. That seat belongs to Eric Cartman. A stupid, racist, cruel, bigoted, fowl-mouthed asshole.

Who I just happen to be in love with.

Yes, im gay. Big fucking woop.

I've known I was gay since I was thirteen.

I sigh and turn my attention back to the lesson, trying to shake away memories that flood into my brain.

"...and so this can cause your brain to make your body react. For example: a doctor could say you were ill, and because they're a doctor you trust them, meaning that even if you weren't ill, you could end up feeling ill anyway. Our brains are fucked up things children..."

I groan under my breath, this is the part where Mr Garrison goes on and on about his own personal opinion about what he's 'teaching' us. I just can't seem to resist turning my gaze to Eric's empty seat...

* * *

"Shut your goddamn jew mouth, Kahl!" Cartman yelled, right in my face. I'd never admit it but he's pretty scary. Also a lot bigger than I am.

"Don't belittle my people, fatass!" I screamed.

"I'm not fat anymore you dumb kike!" He roared. Okay, that's true. He's all muscle now, puberty did him good.

He's also very tall, nearly six foot maybe. I know right? He's probably one of the tallest guys in school, and in the town. Not to mention he's a lot heavier than me, and about a million times stronger. He could knock me out in a second, but hey, I guess I'm just brave enough to take that risk. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who takes that risk... He also no longer wears his hat, revealing his light brown hair. His hair is pretty much the same style as from elementary, maybe a little shorter.

I'm jealous of him, maybe because I've not really changed that much. Cartman's actually really attractive...

Wait.

_Bad brain, bad!_ I think angrily. I have no idea where that came from... oh right, we're arguing. "That's a really offensive word Cartman!" I shout. I was referring to his use of the word 'kike'. I'm not actually that offended when he says it.. I'm too used to it now..

"Guys, seriously, do you have to do this now?" Kenny complains from a few metres away. He's stood with Stan and all four of us are on the basketball court. We were playing but as usual, Cartman ruins it. I can't even remember why we started arguing.. is that bad?

"YES!" Me and Cartman both turn and yell at Kenny. Then I immediately look back at him and notice he's done the same. Those big brown eyes glaring daggers at me. Wait, since when did we get this close? Our noses are almost touching... although to even make that possible I have to look up at him... quite high up when I'm this close.

"I.. am so sick of you and all the shitty things you say." I growl, no longer shouting. I practically spit out each word.

"At least I didn't kill Jesus." He spat back. I was about to explode, I swear. He says the most ridiculous things.

"Um.. you guys, wanna go back to mine and order pizza and play video games?" Stan suddenly suggests. I slowly break my glare from Cartman. What? Was he trying to stop the arguing? I was a little confused. Stan hasn't used this method before. Or any method for that matter. I turn and look back at Cartman who, like me, is also confused and no longer bitching. Thank god. His big, beautiful brown eyes no longer have that glint in them they do when I argue with him. Wait... beautiful?

_Damnit, what the hell is wrong with me?! _

I mumble a quick 'sure', calming down and walking in the direction of Stan's house. Stan is quickly beside me, with Kenny and Cartman not too far behind.

When we get to Stan's house, he goes and orders for all of us while Kenny sets up the Xbox. I watch silently and feel Cartman's eyes on me. _Urgh_.

_Just fuck off, will you?_ I think to myself. However, a small part of me wants him to talk to me.. or shout at me.. or stand close to me. I think I'm sick, seriously. I keep thinking weird things.

* * *

I wake up. I look around. I check my watch. **3:47**. Damn. I notice Stan and Kenny on the sofa snuggled against one another, it makes me chuckle a little under my breath. I consider taking a picture on my phone or something. Just for the hell of if... but the consequences would be terrible. Knowing Kenny, the revenge he'd get on me would be ten times worse. The risk just isn't worth it. Maybe I'll tease them a little in the morning...

Wait, something isn't right here. Where's Cartman? He could be up to something! I don't know what, but you can't take risks or trust him. He always does something unexpected. You could go round to his house one day and notice he's stolen thousands of election votes.

That's not an exaggerated example, that's actually happened before.

Right now he could be stealing things from Stan!

_Not my best friend's things, you bastard_. I think angrily. I know it isn't really that likely, but I mean, you can never trust Cartman. Ever. I stand up and quietly walk around the couch, heading upstairs. Once upstairs and in the hallway, I peek into Stan's room. Nobody. Huh. It's completely silent, maybe he left? Why would he do that?

**Bang**. A sharp pain is inflicted to my head and a fall to the floor, moaning in agony.

"I barely touched you, Jew."

I look up to see Cartman standing over me, light shining from the, now open, bathroom door. That sonofabitch whacked me with a door!

"Fuck you, fatass. How dare you hit me with a door!" I whisper harshly, not wanting to wake Stan and Kenny. Even though they're downstairs, I'm just being nice. He just raises an eyebrow at me, like I was drunk or something. Which isn't possible, I don't drink. Ever. Stan and Kenny (especially Kenny) have tried to make me umpteen times.

"How the hell was I supposed to know you were there, you stupid jew?" He spat back. Oh, he's right. I will admit although he deserves it most of the time, I can be a jerk to Cartman. Then again, he isn't exactly nice to me is he?

"Whatever..." I mumble. He then holds out a hand, offering to help me up. Wait, why would he do that? "What are you doing?" I ask coldly.

"Helping you, what does it look like Kahl?" He says, annoyed. I study his face for a second before hesitantly locking my hand with his. He has warm hands. They're soft, too. Wow, this feels nice. I feel a little embarrassed though. His hand is probably two times bigger than my own, maybe three times, I don't fucking know.

_We should do this more often, fatass_. I thought, and then regretted it instantly and began to scold myself again.

I expected to be yanked forward and kicked in the face or something.. but I was gently helped to my feet instead. Huh. It takes me a few seconds to hesitantly let go of his hand and I immediately miss the touch..

"Um.. thanks.." I mutter, unsure what to say. Also a little awkward for all my strange thoughts..

Sometimes I really need to punch myself. Or get punched.

"What was that?" He asks, leaning forward a bit like he was trying to hear me better.

"I said thanks..." I reply slowly. A smirk seems to have emerged on his face. He's getting a kick out of me thanking him?

He sighs in.. bliss? "One more time, Kahl." He says smoothly. Okay, I can feel my anger returning now, what's he playing at?

"Shut up, fatass, don't test me." I growl at him. He moves back a little and looks slightly shocked, almost, and narrows his eyes slightly. He then proceeds to fold his arms over his chest in what I can guess is annoyance.

"Stupid kike." He spits.

"Fatass."

"Jew."

"Asshole."

"Asswipe."

"Bastard."

"Jesus killer."

"Nazi."

"Cunt."

"Douchebag."

"Fag."

I pause, the last insult he says getting to me. Yes, I was gay. I didn't think he knew that. I wonder if he's gay, I mean, I've never seen him do anything with a girl or heard of him like... having sex with one. Maybe he's a virgin? Him and me both. Not like Stan and Kenny, always bragging about this girl and that girl. But what do I know anyway? Maybe Cartman's straight and always getting laid. Me and him are kind of opposites anyway... I'm weak, he isn't, im pale, he isn't, I'm a nice person, he isn't, nobody in this town is afraid of me, everyone in this town is afraid of him. Well, except for me, Stan and Kenny.. and his mother. Then again, Stan and Kenny always back off when he gets mad..

"How did you..." I begin, trailing off.

"I've known you liked cock since Elementary, Kahl." He puts emphasis on the way he pronounces my name, just to piss me off.

I exhale loudly. "My name... is not... 'Kahl'." Okay, now I'm starting to get really angry. Cartman steps towards me so our faces are inches apart.

"I can call you whatever I want, you're _mine_ jew." He whispers to me, his expression dead serious. I'm a little surprised, he's got balls. You don't really go around telling people they belong to you, do you?

"You don't own me, Cartman..." I whisper back, also dead serious. But it looks like I'm the only one now, as a huge grin appears on his face. "...you really are a horrible person..." I add. His grin disappears and he moves his face away from mine, giving me more space.

"I've done nice things before." He says softly, his eyes never leaving my own. I scoff.

"I doubt that, what's the nicest thing you ever done?" I ask, testing him. He looks at the floor. It's almost as if he's contemplating something, probably just trying to make something up. Pathetic. Honestly, if I was him I wouldn't even try. I myself can't name one nice thing Cartman's done for anyone...

...

Nope. I got nothing.

This continues for several moments and I decide to end it so I can finish this conversation and go back to sleep. I'm very angry and tired at this point. "Exactly Cartman, there's nothing. You don't do anything nice to anyone, you never have and you never will. You're a stupid, selfish bastard. All you care about is yourself and everything you do is for your own damn benefit. You don't even care about your crack whore of a mother and-"

I'm interrupted as I'm slammed into a wall and pinned by Cartman. It hurts. Damn. It really fucking hurts. I'm holding back a whimper. He looks really angry. Double damn. My feet aren't even touching the floor and his eyes are level with mine. He has to lift me to be level with me. Just a little embarrassing.

I'm silent, and scared. His fists holding onto my shirt and his weight pinning me to the wall with ease. It's actually kind of arousing.. damn brain.. with all these thoughts you'd think i was attracted to Cart-

_Shit. No. Kill me._

He continues to hold me there and I just gape at him. That glint in his eye is there. It's really noticeable now, to me anyway. I'm just literally lost in his eyes. Okay, that sounds gay.

It takes what feels like eternity for him to do something. He softens his expression, looking less angry and more neutral. He lets go of my shirt with one if his hands, still able to hold me firmly in place with just the other one. His now free hand moves upward and holds onto my chin, really gently, which is surprising. This is keeping it so I'm looking him in the eyes.

"I saved you and your family from the smug storm in San Francisco."

He blinks a few times and then drops me and storms off back downstairs, leaving me with a million thoughts and two million questions.

* * *

The next day Kenny and Cartman leave Stan's house early. I called my mum asking if I could stay a while longer, since it's been a while since me and Stan had some quality best friend time. We've not been doing much, I helped him clean up from last night and we're currently playing a racing game on his Xbox. I can't concentrate though, all I can think about is last night...

It's Cartman who saved me and my family. Cartman. I can't get over it! URGH! Should I be thankful? This is a huge deal. He saved my life.. but he hates me...

_If it wasn't for Cartman.. I'd be dead.._ I think sadly. I can feel tears forming in my eyes. My vision blurs. I'm going to cry... what's wrong with me lately?!

He saved my life.

He saved my family's life.

Cartman? A hero?

He saved me.

He hates me.

I hate hi-

I like him.

I really do like him.

He saved my life.

I think I'm having some kind of panic attack.

Okay. Freeze. Calm down. My.. worst enemy.. saved my life. He traveled all that distance to save me. Did he miss me? Did he see that storm coming? Stay calm! This isn't that big...

_Bullshit,_ It's _huge!_

I pause the game me and Stan were currently playing. I see him shifting in my peripheral vision. Damn, now I owe him an explanation...

"Kyle! I was winning!" He complains. I look him in the eyes and he must have noticed how I'm tearing up because he gives me a sad look and places a hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong, dude?" He asks softly. I blink a few times and take a deep breath.

"He saved me, Stan." I reach up and wipe my eyes. I'm not crying but I have unshed tears.. and they annoy me.

"Uh.. what ?" He questions slowly.

"Eric... saved me... from the smug storm... in San Francisco..." I admit hesitantly.

He raises both eyebrows up and his mouth is open slightly. Poor Stan. I've dropped a bomb on him.

Fuck that. It's me who's really shocked!

"Eric.. Cartman?" He asks me. I nod, casting my eyes down. "Eric Cartman the asshole we've known all our lives who's selfish, hates Jews, hates you, hates hippies, hates black people, hates you, hates gingers, hates Mexicans, hates you, hates waiting in line, hates poor people, hates you, hates pretty much all minorities.. and did I mention he hates you?" He stares at me with almost desperate eyes. He probably thinks I've gone crazy.

"This is a big deal Stan.. a really big deal.. am I meant to thank him or something? I'm really grateful and everything but I feel like he had some ulterior motives. But just think about it! Why didn't he want to tell me? Surely he could've used it as an excuse to get me in his debt.. and I feel like I am in his debt. I need to do something to get this off my chest..." I look back into Stan's eyes. He looks like he's considering something.

"Go." He finally says. I'm a little confused. Is he mad at me?

"What?" I whisper just loud enough for him to hear.

"I said go. Go to Cartman's house. The fatass did something nice, something really nice. Go and thank him, I mean, you clearly want to get this out of your system. You feel grateful... maybe he doesn't hate you after all..." Stan trails off. I can't help but wonder if that's true...

Cartman isn't someone I'm amazing at talking to. This is going to be interesting, I don't think I've ever thanked him before. I wonder how he'll react...

* * *

I've been stood at his door for what I could guess as nearly ten minutes. My watch reads 13:26. I can't stand out here forever, can I?

After taking a deep breath, I reach out and knock on his door, waiting quite impatiently for a response. That response being the door opening. With that said, my wish comes true about five seconds after I knocked, not bad.

"Jew." Cartman greets me, he looks me up and down before giving a confused look. "What's up? You never come to mah house, not by yourself anyway..." He eyes me almost suspiciously. Oh thanks.

"N-No, I know, I just.. I just want to talk to you?" I say nervously, god what's come over me?!

He chuckles a little bit at me and raises an eyebrow. "Are you asking me or telling me?" He asks. Fucks sake Cartman, why must you always mess with me?

"I'm.. um, asking you.." I say slowly. It's his house after all and I'm not a bossy person. Yet, I have a feeling I said the wrong answer...

"That's a shame, the answer is no. Oh dear.." He says with a fake sweet voice. He's messing with me.. being all fake innocent. He starts to close his front door, however, without much thought I put my foot in the way of it shutting fully.

"Wait.. I'm telling you.. you're going to listen to me." I tell him. I try to be stern but I have a feeling it really didn't work.

He smirks at me. "That's much better, Kahl. Authoritah looks good on you. But next time you must be more assertive. Come in." He stands to he side, bringing his front door further open and allowing me room to walk into his house. When I do I turn back to face him as he closes the door, turns around and asks me what I wanted to talk about.

I look around the room quickly, then turn back to him. "Where's your mum?" I ask out of pure curiosity and also because I still have no idea what I'm going to say and how I'm going to say it. I'm surprised he still isn't mad at me...

"Out." He says simply, shrugging his shoulders. Okay then. Really making an effort with this conversation I see, Eric.

_Eric? _

"A-Aren't you, you know, mad at me?" I ask, trying not to sound nervous and unsure but I highly doubt it worked.

He becomes visibly tenser. I notice these things. "Kahl, forget about it, it's fine." He seems to force out. I think he's mad but I don't want to make the situation worse.

I nod my head. "Well... I'm sorry anyway.. I'll just be leaving now.." I announce awkwardly and make my way to the door, stopping once I reach it. I stare at the closed door.

_"I saved you and your family from the smug storm in San Francisco."_

"Kahl?" I hear him ask from behind me. I exhale loudly and turn back around. Looking at him and taking a step forward.

"No. I'm not going to leave, not yet..." I begin. Trying to hurry myself along before i loose my courage. "...I want to thank you. For saving me in San Francisco. You didn't have to and.. I mean, dude, you saved my life!" I throw my arms in the air as I say that last part. "I can't believe it. All this time... Why wouldn't you tell me?" I question.

His eyes widen for a fraction of a second and he quickly casts them down. I wonder if he's nervous or something, but Cartman doesn't get nervous, does he? He's.. like.. really tough and everything...

He sighs. "Damnit, why'd you always do this to me, Jew?" He says.. sadly? Yeah. It seems sad.

I look him up and down trying to piece this together but I have no idea what he's talking about. "I-I don't understand..."

He looks back at my face. "I know." He says softly. I Didn't think it was even possible for Cartman to speak sadly and look at me the way he's looking at me right now.

I gape at him. Confused as fuck. "Um... okay. I want to know, but you're stubborn as anything so I won't push it but..." I step towards him untill I'm stood right in front of me. Touching distance. I smile at him and he hesitantly returns it. Then, and don't ask me why, I guess I was really grateful, I lean forward and wrap my arms around his body. I hug him tightly and close my eyes, resting my chin on his shoulder. "Thank you." I whisper by his ear. Of course I'm on my toes to do this. Dammit.

It felt like he shuddered, but Eric Cartman wouldn't do that so I discarded of that thought immediately. I don't know how long I held him, but it could've been hours. Seriously. I didn't want to piss him off, so I let go and leaned back, but I wouldn't go back. I looked down and noticed his arms had encircled my waist, preventing me from backing away. I blink twice in confusion and look at his face. He's was staring right back at me, and, damn, we're really close to each other.

"I didn't tell you, because I didn't want you to get suspicious..." He whispers to me. I can feel his breath faintly on my face. I'm not really sure how to act or even think at this moment.

_Why aren't I shoving him away?..._ I wonder to myself. But deep down I know the answer. It's pretty fucking obvious, but I choose to ignore these things.

I do really like him. I'm a mess.

"S-Suspicious? O-Of what?" I whisper back to him. I put my hands on his chest beca-... I don't know I just wanted to fucking touch him.

Problem? Fight me.

Wait. Don't fight me. I'm not very strong.

He looked to the side, away from my face and made his lips into a thin line. "The real reason i saved you. Not the reason I told Butters." He spoke like he was distant. I really didn't understand him sometimes...

"What did you tell Butters?" I asked quietly. He turned to face me again. Staring at me with those massive brown eyes.

I wondered why Butters knew, but they did used to be pretty close. Besides, I didn't want to ask something like that. It would totally ruin this moment. He's giving me answers!

"I told him that I only saved you because I missed taking the piss out of you." He whispers. I feel one of his hands shift a bit on my waist...

"What was the real reason you saved me?" I ask, in a whisper. I don't know why we even started whispering. Nobody's in the house. It's probably just because we're so close...

"I missed you, and I didn't want you to die." He answers me, still whispering. I feel my face heat up and I can't remember the last time I felt this happy. I don't know what's come over me lately but I'm just so happy right now. He cares.

"O-Oh..." I stutter. Unsure what to even say anyway. He smirks at me.

"You're adorable when you blush, Jew." He teases. I only feel my face heat up more and he lets out a light chuckle. I can't believe he just called me adorable! I'm slightly amused. I offer him a small smile and his smirk changes into a similar genuine smile.

So, this is totally normal. Me and Cartman, purposely stood against each other. This is what couples do, only we're not a couple...

I wanted the upper hand. I wanted him to be the one who blushes and who looks vulnerable.

"You t-think I'm adorable?" I question nervously. He did kind of say it, but I wanted him admit it straight up.

"Only when you blush Jew. However... I do think you look pretty cute everyday. Even when you're angry." He says smoothly. He is so flirting with me. Well, he probably was this entire time when you look at it... but I don't notice these things. I like this flirty, seductive Eric Cartman.

I feel a little sad, though. I'm not cute or adorable. At all. In fact, according to him in the past, I'm a stupid, ginger Jew. Unattractive and unloved. Now he's suddenly coming out with this?! He's probably lying...

I feel my emotions drop. Getting your hopes up really isn't a good thing. This stupid bastard was probably trying to trick me in order to start off a new scheme or master plan! He wanted me to be humiliated! He wanted to tell the whole fucking school and my family and friends my sexuality! Stan and Kenny know, so they don't count, but seriously!

"Get off me." I say sternly, instantly loosing my blush and any form of smile or cute emotion. Dead serious.

"W-What?..." He stutters. Ha. He looks so sad now, instantly, but I won't fall for it! He can't fool me!

"Get. Off. Of. Me. Now. Cartman." I speak slowly, insulting his hearing and intelligence. He doesn't let me go, he grips tighter onto my waist. I look down for a second and then back at him. Now he looks angry. Okay, I'm scared. I could get raped here!

"Kahl," He begins, pausing and inhaling. "I know what you're doing. Don't do this you fucking Jew." He snarls. I have no idea what he's talking about. Doing what? Protecting myself from his schemes?!

"I said leave me alone." I spit. I shove his chest but he stays in the same position, holding me. Fuck sake.

He growls audibly and removes his hands from my body. I immediately start to back away across the room, unsure how to act. **Thud.** My back hits the wall. I stay where I am and turn my head to look at it for a moment and hear him laugh a little. I look back at him to see he still looks a little angry but also a little amused. He walks over to me, but this time gives me a bit of space.

I sigh. I know what he's going to do. I might as well find out now anyway."I expect now you're going to-"

"-tell the whole town you're a fag? No Kahl, I'm not. Are you going to tell the whole town I'm a fag?" He asks me.

He wasn't going to give up. Whatever he was planning he was really determined. "No, because you're not a fag, and that's an offensive word." I say, trying to hold back anger.

"You don't believe me." He states coldly, narrowing his eyes at me.

"That you're gay or that you won't tell everyone about my sexuality? Because I don't believe either. You're a lying, deceitful bastard and I hate you." I say, purposely trying to piss him off and get him to admit he is, in fact, lying. Cartman just smirks at me and invades my personal space by walking towards me. When he stops he's almost pressed up against me and I'm stuck against this damn wall.

"You don't hate me." He whispers to me cockily.

"Yes, I do." I whisper back. Cartman just gives me a wide grin to replace the smirk. He then presses his body against my own. I gasp involuntarily. Shit.

"Tell me you hate me again." He demands, but not angrily. He looks pretty serious now, though.

"I-I... I can't..." I admit, my voice almost shaking. How can he do this to me?!

"I know you can't. How long have you liked me?" He asks, what an egotistical jerk.

"I don't like y-" I'm cut off in mid-sentence. Only when i realise why, I feel like I'm going to faint. Cartman had silenced my lips with his lips. This was kissing. We were kissing. Well... he was kissing me.

His hands held my waist once again and I just felt so content. I leaned into him and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing him closer. I didn't think it was possible to feel this happy. I feel him smile into my mouth as he continues to kiss me and I just can't resist kissing him back. I'm not a very experienced kisser, at all, but i hope he won't catch onto that.

He pulls away from my mouth and rests his forehead against mine. One of his hands is cupping my cheek. "I like you too, Kahl..." he whispers, claiming my mouth once more.

* * *

"Kyle Broflovski! How long have you been ignoring me?!" Yelled Mr. Garrison. Shit.

Everyone in the class is staring at me, I turn to look at Stan who gives me a sad, sympathetic look. I sigh and turn back to Mr. Garrison, who is fuming and expecting a reply. He interrupted such pleasant memories...

"Suck my balls." I say confidently. Why, you ask? Because that's just what Eric Cartman would have said.

* * *

I'm planning on uploading more chapters to this story!

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

**Reviewer question**: Why do you think Eric Cartman isn't at school?

Lottie x


	2. Stars

Hellooo! Chapter two is here! I think I did really well on this chapter and I hope you like it!:)

I put a hella lot of effort in..

See what I did there?

Anyway! **Thank you for deciding to read, I really appreciate it**.

Disclaimer: Don't own South Park, don't own it's characters. Never will. Accept this.

* * *

Chapter 2: Stars:

_Stupid fucking Mr. Garrison... I hate this damn school..._ I think to myself angrily as I storm through the school halls. I feel alone. I am alone.

So, wanna know what happened then? Of course you do.

Garrison sent me to the fucking councillor. That's where I'm heading now.

Mr. Macky is our school councillor. He was at elementary too, but like Mr. Garrison, he transferred to the high school. Don't ask me why, I don't have a fucking clue. Don't get me wrong, I like Mr. Macky, I'm just really pissed off at this moment in time.

That doesn't normally happen with no fatass around to provoke me.

Ha, fatass. It's been forever since I've said that.

I slump down on one of the chairs outside of Macky's office. At least I didn't have to listen to Mr. Garrison right now, I don't know if I'd survive that.

I never used to be like this, you know, a troublemaker kind of student. I was always the best behaved, grade A, nerdy, goody-two-shoes kind of student. Well... most of the time.

When Eric Cartman was still here, the class would be interrupted every now and then. This was simply because of how me and him would wind each other up and then one of us would crack and yell something or throw something or whatever.

I smile as I remember moments like that. At the time I would have been enraged, but now all I can do is imagine Eric's teasing smirk rather than see it in front of me almost all day.

I remember when he used to tell me I had "sand in my vagina", now that annoyed me. I used to scream out loud interrupting the entire class that I didn't. However, Eric would then go onto saying something like, "so you admit you _do_ have a vagina, Kahl?"

Kahl

Been a while since I heard that...

Stop asking questions. I won't tell you why Eric Cartman left. Yet.

You have to go with the story.

Go with the flow.

Oh c'mon don't be mad at me! This story is worth it, trust me! Calm down, have a... cigarette or something. That's what Kenny does.

"Kyle, would you like to come in, m'kay."

I look to the side toward Mr. Macky, I nod weakly and get off my ass. I walk into the office and take a seat on a chair positioned in front of his desk. "Hello, Mr. Macky." I say calmly, I'm not in the mood to even offer him a smile.

"Hi Kyle, why are you here this time?" He asks, tilting his enormous head ever-so-slightly to the side. Yeah, I've been here quite a lot...

Forgot to mention that...

"Mr. Garrison sent me... I was rude to him..." I admit sadly. God, I sound like a child...

"Well as your councillor, m'kay, I want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything. What did you say that was rude?" He asks me, raising both eyebrows. Damnit. Look where this got me.

"I told him to... suck my balls..." I say, then I awkwardly reach up to scratch the back of my neck. I ended up missing. Oops.

Mr. Macky nods at me slowly and looks a little unsure. "M'kay Kyle, that kind of language is not appropriate, m'kay, and Mr. Garrison has had a word with me himself. He feels you're going downhill in class, m'kay, and that you used to be a well behaved, grade A student. You were only sent to me on occasion, m'kay, but now you're sent here quite often. I have a theory to why this is, so will you hear me out on what I have to say?" He questions. Here we go. He's going to say something crazy and that has nothing to do with me or the school.

"Okay. Go ahead." I tell him calmly. I'm ready to hear this. A smug-ish smile comes onto my face against my will. Luckily, he ignores it and gives his opinion anyway.

"Is it something to do with Eric Cartman, m'kay?" He asks me. I freeze and stare at him, my smug-like smile fading into a look of shock and sadness. Why is there something to remind me of Eric everyday? Normally it's an empty seat or certain phrase someone says but not today! Nope! Today Macky has to just say it how it is. Urgh.

"I... yes..." I admit sadly. He nods his head in understanding and then clears his throat.

"Kyle, are.. um, are you and Eric... special friends, m'kay?"He asks me hesitantly. Special friends? Oh, he means together. Really? I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable saying yes, although that would be a lie.

"We were." I answer him. I can't believe me and Mr. Macky are having an honest conversation. Like, seriously. I normally lie to him all the time, either because I'm uncomfortable or because I'm in the office with Eric and he's pissed me off so badly I refuse to be a part of the meeting.

Well, that happened more when we were younger... but still.

"M'kay Kyle, well being gay is perfectly fine. Nothing to be ashamed about, m'kay, but no matter what people you're attracted to, breakups are never easy. Now it must have been serious because of how much it's had an impact on you, m'kay. I just want you to try to get through this and focus on your school work. Maybe it's time for you to find a new boyfriend, m'kay?" He suggests. Wow. He really doesn't understand my problems and he has absolutely no idea what he's talking about...

"Maybe." I almost mumble. There's simply no point in getting Macky involved or trying to explain things go him. Like, seriously, no point. He wouldn't get it...

"You're clearly going through a very difficult time. This is a one off, but would you like to stay in here and study for the rest of the day, m'kay?" He offers. Well, I don't want to go back to Mr. Garrison...

"Sure..." I reply, offering him a fake smile.

* * *

"So where were you the rest of the day?" Stan asks me as I walk home with him and Kenny. I put my hands in my pockets.

"Macky let me stay in his office all day..." I reply like a complete depressed zombie. What? Didn't you hear? That's totally the new craze right now.

"Oh. Wanna come round my house for a bit?" Stan offers. It's nice of him but I really don't feel like it, I have too much on my mind.

"Hey! I'm stood right here!" Exclaimed Kenny, half joking. I look over at him and snicker slightly.

"Yeah whatever you can come to, Kenny." Stan says dismissively, waving his hand like Kenny's some kind of annoying bug.

"Yes mate!" Kenny shouts joyfully and throws his fist into the air. I give him a disappointed look. He knows what I'm thinking.

"Kenny..." I begin.

"Fine! Don't worry Kyle I'll keep the booze and pot away!" He says, waving his arms around in some kind of defensive and dismissive manor. I simply raise an eyebrow at him.

"Do you think you'll be aloud to spend the night Kyle? It's Friday, your mom usually lets you." Stan asks me, ignoring Kenny and his strange hand gestures. Or whatever they are.

"I'll phone her once I get to yours." I tell him, still keeping a very confused eye on Kenny who hasn't stopped waving his arms around.

We stare at each other for a few seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter.

* * *

"Hey.. Kyle.. look dude.." Stan pokes me in the side, rather too roughly. I sit up and rub my eyes, angry as I've been disturbed from my sleep.

My vision slowly comes into focus. I see Stan sat in front of me with an amused smirk on his face. I smile back at him, simply because of the face he's pulling, I have no idea what's so amusing though.

"Uh, what?" I ask, confused. He...giggles? What? What the hell is wrong with Stan?

He laughs giddily and points across the room. Stan's living room. I follow his pointing finger and see a sleeping Kenny against one of the walls. He has an incredibly stupid look on his face and one of his legs is, in fact, up the wall.

I stare blankly for a few moments, blinking god knows how many times.

I start to chuckle after a few moments of processing and playfully punch Stan in the arm.

It must be like, gone midnight by now. When Stan and I are calmed down from our laughter he suddenly goes serious. He gives me a similar look to the one he gave me in class earlier today.

"I know what you were thinking about earlier dude." he admits sadly. I sigh and cast my eyes down to the floor.

"yeah.." I'm not really sure what to say, he started this damn conversation!

"I've really been trying to cheer you up. He's gone, Kyle. I know it's hard to accept but it's been, what, two months?" he asks. Nice to know you try to keep up with all the info Stan. Real nice.

"_Three_ months." I correct him, and wait silently for him to continue, which I assumed he would do.

"C'mon dude, cheer up. Please? I want you to move on! I know you liked hi-"

"I _love_ him." I interrupt him mid-sentence to get my point across. He looks almost defeated after I've said that.

"I understand. I don't know what I'd do without Wendy..." he trails off and sighs deeply.

"You don't understand. Wendy hasn't left you." I state firmly and coldly. Stan is a little taken aback by my change in mood, he nods slowly and goes to lie down on the couch.

"Goodnight Kyle." he says softly from the couch. I yawn and lay back down on my sleeping bag, feeling sleep quickly beginning to claim me.

* * *

Stars. Lots of them. Probably a million stars.

I love stars. It sounds gay, but I am gay so it's cool. Anyway, stars just make me feel so happy inside. They really bring out my sense of wonder and make me forget about all the bad things in my life for a while.

I'm in a field. It's big, and has nothing in it. Except for grass of course.

Oh, and a car. I'm sat on it. It's not mine though.

I know what you're thinking, badass Kyle is chilling on some random person's car.

C'mon, we both know that isn't true. I'm not like that.

This car belongs to Liane Cartman, she's my boyfriends mother. Yep, me and Cartman are dating now. Good, eh?

Don't like it? Get out. I no longer care what people think of my sexuality or who I'm attracted to.

Well, except my mom. She's probably the only person in town who has no idea I'm gay or that Eric Cartman is my boyfriend.

Damn, she'd freak of she knew. My dad and Ike know, but like everyone else I've told, I asked them not to tell mom.

Does that make me a horrible son? Sometimes I think it does. I wouldn't give up this relationship for the world though. I've never been as happy as I have been this past month we've been dating.

We don't actually go on _dates_. But we're still dating... I think that makes sense in some way.

According to Cartman, dates are for fags. I'm pretty sure we _are_ fags...

I'm also pretty sure this counts as a date...

Oh well, better not point _that_ out.

Anyway, I'm sat on Liane Cartman's car beside Eric, looking at stars.

I think that's pretty faggy.

"Jew." He pokes me in the side as he says my 'name'. I sigh.

"Not my name, Cartman." I say coldly, trying to show him my frustration. Yes, I mostly still call him by his last name. Calling him 'Eric' is quite alien to me.

I call him Eric in my mind. That's it.

"Kahl." He pokes me again. I give him a quick glare and he smirks. He then goes to poke me again but I grab his hand.

"Stop poking me asshole!" I snap at him. He chuckles and I just glare daggers at him, sometimes I seriously fucking hate him.

Okay, I could never _truly_ hate him.

"You're so cute when you're angry, Kahl." He pronounces my name incorrectly once again. He can say it right, I know he can! He's just trying to piss me off even more.

"My name is _Kyle_." I correct him, releasing his hand.

"Fine then, Kyle.." I soften my expression and watch as his smirk becomes a serious look. "..what do you like about me?"

Well that was random.

I blink a few times, not sure how to respond. I shrug nonchalantly. "I don't know..." My gaze is cast down to the ground and I contemplate how I could actually answer a question like this. He doesn't really ask me things like this, so it's new.

"There must be something." He tells me. Allowing me to think for a second.

I look back at him and smirk playfully. "I like... how good you are in bed. There." I kiss him on the cheek and then quickly pull away. He stares at me blankly.

"Damnit Jew..." He says with a sigh. I laugh a little and try to give him an innocent look, even though I was still grinning so it wasn't easy.

"What?! Its true!" I complain. We kind of just stare at each other for a while. Then he smiles, leans forward and kisses me.

I don't hesitate to kiss back, and it quickly becomes more heated. Each kiss is slow and lazy, but no less passionate. It's really nice actually.

"You're a good kisser, too." I say into his mouth. I feel him smirk against me. One of his hands ends up in my hair and both of mine are on his shoulders.

After... I don't know, a minute? A minute and a half? Something like that..

After something like that (I can't really keep track while kissing, you know) he pulls back and puts his hand into his lap.

"I like your hair." He says softly, almost seductively. I blush at this and awkwardly run my hand through it. "I like your smile, your voice even when you're angry, I like your eyes, I like your clever Jew brain.." I scoff at this and he chuckles. "...I like your body, especially your ass..." I feel my face heat up. "I like pretty much everything about you, there's nothing I would change." He finishes.

I smirk at him, "I'm sorry, but you call_ me_ a fag." I laugh a little as his smile fades and he goes all serious on me.

"Don't call me a fag, Kahl!" He shouts. I try to hold in my laughter, simply because it'll piss him off even more. I don't think it worked very well...

Judging by the fact that I burst out laughing approximately 3 seconds later, no, it didn't work very well at all.

He folds his arms and turns away from me, sulking childishly. It's kind of funny but he's normally genuinely annoyed when he does things like this.

I calm down from my laughing fit and sigh in annoyance. "Cartman?" I don't get any response from him. For fuck sake.

"Cartman?"

No answer.

"Cartman?"

Nothing.

"Cartman?"

Zilcho.

"Fatass?"

He growls audibly and I smirk slightly. Now I'm getting to him.

_You're only pissing him off, try something different_... I think to myself. This is oh so very true. He must really hate being called a fag...

I think for a second and come up with the perfect idea, something that's bound to work. Bound to. I've done it before and it's effect is considerable.

"Eric?"

Silence. Damnit. He's supposed to answer me! Two can play at this game! I turn around like he's doing, I don't fold my arms like a child but I do put my back to him..or his back.

I look at the stars again. My eyes scan the sky, everytime I look back in the same spots there are more and more stars.

Do you notice that, too?

The longer you look the more stars appear. I once tried to count the stars, when I was in fourth grade. Didn't work. According to many people, I was the smartest kid in my class. Surely a smart kid wouldn't do something that stupid. Even if he was really fucking bored.

Like I am now.

I sigh for the umpteenth time. What to think about...

I suddenly feel warm and protective arms encircle me from behind. I look down to see those arms belong to the sulking asshole that wouldn't talk to me just now.

"Say my name one more time." He says softly into my ear, it's not really a demand. Or at least it doesn't sound like one.

"Eric..." I reply barely above a whisper. I feel his arms tighten slightly and his head rests on my shoulder. He could crush me like a twig right now if he wanted to. I'm being dead serious, you should see the size of his muscles! They're huge!

Want to come down here and meet him? I'll let you see, I want to show him off to you.

"You need to start calling me that..." He says. I turn my head round so I'm looking at him, for this to work he has to remove his head from my shoulders but he's still really, really close to me. I could count his eyelashes if I wanted to.

Not that I'm going to do that.

"How come you get really angry when I call you a fag, but when Stan and Kenny and other people say it, you don't give a shit?" I ask in a whisper. I feel I've just ruined this moment. Fuck sake..

Don't mind my language, guys.

He doesn't take his eyes off mine or move further away. "I don't care what those assholes think, whether it's different with you. Not that you actually meant you thought I was a fag, but.. I don't know it just gets to me. You get to me." I just stare at him, unsure what to say. He gets to me too, but.. so do people like Stan and Craig and Token and Clyde and Kenny and just about everyone.

"Why do I get to you so much?" I ask from pure curiosity. Since it sounded like I'm the only one who does actually get to him... it's weird.

"You mean everything to me, Kyle." He answers me softly. My eyes widen slightly and I just gawk at him. It takes a few seconds, but he seems to realise what he's just said and blushes heavily. Casting his eyes down. Aww.

I bring one of my hands to his shoulder. He looks at it and then back at my face. I give him a genuine, happy smile. I kind of have half my body twisted round at the moment. Uncomfortable.

He slowly returns that smile and I bring my lips to his. I can't believe he said that to me, we're not even at the point we can say "I love you" to each other yet. He releases me slightly and I take the opportunity to turn fully around to sit in his lap, keeping the kiss going the whole time. His hands rest on my waist. I let go of his shoulder and wrap my arms round his neck, ending the kiss and resting my head on his chest.

"If I said it would be so hot to fuck you in this car would you be up for that?" He suddenly asks me with nothing but playfulness in his voice, and seduction of course.

I simply laugh and roll my eyes. "You're a douche." I think that's a good answer to his question, don't you?

"Ay! I'm only trying to spice things up a little!" He exclaims almost aggressively, almost.

But not quite.

He's not the only immature and playful one here, you know. I smirk.

"Shut up and destroy my asshole in this car before I change my mind."

* * *

"Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Kyle. Oh hey, you're awake! 'Bout time!" I blink a few times and see Kenny stood next to me. I feel an achy pain down the right side of my body, near my hip.

"My side hurts..." I complain, putting a hand over it. I take quick note of Kenny's grin...

"Well duh! I've been stood here kicking you and saying your name for like, five minutes! You are one heavy sleeper!" He chuckles. I swear Kenny is one of the most enthusiastic people I know. I love him to pieces though, even if he is a huge pain in the ass.

"W-Wha? Kicking me?! You asshole!" I yell at him. The smug grin on his face becomes even wider.

"Love you too, bubbie." He tries to do an impression of my mother, how lovely. She always calls me that. Wait a second. Something's missing...

"Where's Stan?" I ask as Kenny disappears into Stan's kitchen. I stare blankly after him awaiting a reply.

I hear some rustling around and some cupboard doors. "Stan's in the lavatory!" I raise an eyebrow at Kenny's reply. Thinking I've heard him wrong.

What the hell is a 'lavatory'?

"He's where?" I shout back to Kenny. I decide to stand up and stretch a bit. Damn, I feel like shit.

"In the fucking bathroom!" I hear from the kitchen followed by a bang-like sound. I think something fell on the floor... especially since I hear Kenny curse.

"What's going o-" I turn and see Stan halfway down the stairs. He's looking straight at me with a strange expression, his eyebrows are furrowed and his lip is drawn to a thin line. "Hey dude." He greets me quickly and offers me a small smile.

It's genuine, but it's still small. Something's not right.

I remember how I treated him last night and feel a pang of guilt run through me..

"Hi..." I say sheepishly and give him a similar, small smile. He must have thought I was still mad at him, so I should show him I'm not. We hold each others gaze for a few seconds before he looks towards the kitchen.

"Kenny, what the hell are you doing in there?" Stan yells towards the kitchen. He looks pissed off. Then again, it's Kenny, moses knows what he's doing in there...

"Looking for booze!" I look back towards the kitchen and sigh. I hear Stan's footsteps as he goes past me and stands in the kitchen doorway.

"It's eight in the morning, dude!" He yells at Kenny. Damn, sometimes I really question my friends..

Especially Cartman.

Then again, he was never really a _friend..._

"Calm down bro, your parents are on their honeymoon!" Kenny shouts defensively. Yeah, Sharon and Randy split up again and then got back together. Mainly because of Randy. He's kind of an ass.

"That doesn't mean you can raid my house! Bring your own drinks next time!" I'm starting to think Kenny crossed a line here... Stan sounds really mad. I try to get Kenny's attention to signal to him that he really just needs to cut it out. Simply because I'm an idiot, I try to do this by waving my arms about and pulling worried facial expressions. Luckily, he briefly glances towards me.

"Whatever man, I'm off for a smoke." Kenny announces dismissively and storms out of the front door. I slowly lower my arms to my sides and watch Stan. He still has his back to me.

"Stan?" I ask hesitantly.

"Me..." He responds nonchalantly, not angrily like I expected. I watch him as he turns around to face me and smiles slightly, allowing me to speak.

"I'm sorry. For last night." I say sadly. I really just want to make sure we're okay, I may be stubborn, but I'm also upset and I could use a best friend right now.

"It's okay dude. I just want you to be okay." I nod in reply and he walks towards me and brings me into a warm hug. I return it and laugh a little.

"Thanks.." I say quietly, since we're close to each other.

"Your welcome... and remember that if Cartman ever comes back, I'll smack him." I have to laugh a little, but to be honest I really don't want Stan to do that. I'm mad at Eric, sure but... I just want things to go back to how they used to be. Although deep down, I know that wont happen. He's gone for good.

He said so.

* * *

I'm quite happy with this chapter, if I made any mistakes be sure to let me know!

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Reviewer question: Do you think Eric Cartman could come back?

Lottie x

* * *

**Review responses:**

**AnimatedNation**: Don't worry about the question! It wasn't easy, I'm surprised anyone could come up with anything. Anyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, it's nice to know you're interested. Reading that makes me happier! I hope you liked chapter 2! Lottie x

**Cster**: You think my story is adorable? Thank you so much! I wanted to try and make it super cute and there's more super cuteness on its way! As you may have been able to tell in this chapter, Cartman isn't dead. It's okay, calm down. I wouldn't kill him off and just do a fic about Kyle bring depressed and shit. That's so sad! Anyway, thank you sooooooooooooooo much for reading, reviewing and calling my story adorable! Lottie **x**

**PuppyKatGirl:** Well of course I'm going to keep going! There are many more chapters on their way! And it's great to know you're interested in my story, it makes my day hearing things like that! As for your answer, "Eric is not at school because he stays home having naughty thoughts about Kyle", I... I don't even know how to respond to this. I mean... I didn't really expect answers at this point but... erm... just... I'm sorry to inform you that...erm... that is nowhere near the correct answer. At all. Thank you for trying to answer anyway! When I read it I did find myself quite amused but interested. Anyway, thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Lottie x

**Kyman is Life: **You gave quite a good answer! I'm going to be naughty and tell you that you're actually on the right ish lines there! So close yet so far! Thank you for reading and reviewing! Lottie x

**ArijustAri:** You love this? You love my story?! OMG THANK YOU! And yes, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger! But I'm afraid more of them are to come! Mwhahahahahahahahaha! Anyway, yes this is my first time writing Kyman and did you just say I'm good at it?! Thank you so much! I'm really happy right now, I am so seriously! Do you like, want a hug or something? C'mon, bring it in! *Hugs* Thank you for reading and making my day with that review! Lottie x


	3. Escape

I have returned! Thank you everyone for reviewing and messaging me! Your feedback is what makes my day!

**Thank you so much for reading guys! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: Still don't own it. If I did I wouldn't be writing this, I'd be out celebrating!

* * *

Chapter 3: Escape

"Hello?"

"Kyle! It's nearly nine 'o' clock! You should've been home now! Come back this instant and take your insulin!" My mother roars on the phone. I'd forgotten when I had to be back, and also kind of ignored the fact I had to go back...

"O-Oh yeah, sorry mom. I'll come home now I promise!" Please shut up, woman! Please! I don't want to listen to your moaning!

"You better young man!" She roars before hanging up on me. Love you too, Mom.

I sigh in frustration and rub my eyes. Fuck. Sometimes I hate my mom. No joke, she's awful, and she's treated me a lot worse since she found out I was gay... and who I used to date.

"Your mom?" Stan asks from the couch, he's not even looking at me. Him and Kenny are playing a racing game on the Xbox, they're really into those.

I, on the other hand, don't even know what the name of the games are. As you could probably tell when I called it 'a racing game'.

"Yeah, I gotta go dude." I tell him sadly. He just nods in understanding, only paying half his attention to me. Urgh.

"Alright, see you Kyle." How nice. I sigh and head towards the door, dreading what my mother will say to me. Or do to me! Oh Moses...

I know you have a few questions, but I'll explain another time.

"Later Kyle." I hear Kenny say from behind me. I mumble a quick 'bye' and leave Stan's house. My destination: hell.

* * *

When I got home my mom went furious on me. It was awful but I didn't really have much of an option other than to cope. I wish I could leave home, and never come back.

Even if that means leaving Ike and dad behind aswell..

I sound horrible right now, but you would feel the same if you lived in my house. Wanna trade lives? Just for a day? Please?

No? It was worth a try...

Anyway, I got home and took my insulin while my mom droned on. It didn't matter what I did, whether I stayed silent or answered the many rhetorical questions she threw at me. She would shout at me either way, telling me I'm a horrible, ungrateful son and comparing me to Ike.

In her eyes, he's perfect and I'm just something she's stuck with that has to get perfect grades and gets yelled at every five seconds.

She ended up mentioning how Stan and Kenny are bad for me and how I could be in a sexual relationship with one of them.

I cant believe her. I just can't.

I hate her.

I wish I never told her I was gay. I wish she wasn't even my mother. I wish I could leave this place. I wish I was happy. I wish Eric was here.

Eric...

_FUCK!_

I hate my life.

I feel tears forming in my eyes and my vision goes blurry. I curl up in a ball on my bed and cry my eyes out. This is me letting go. Instead of bottling these emotions up, I'm letting them free.

* * *

I hear a knock at my bedroom door followed by a voice, "Kyle?" It's my dad, he sounds concerned. I walk over to open the door, my dad smiles at me sadly.

"Hi dad..." I say quietly and quite blankly, hiding any emotion. Well, trying to, best I can right now.

"Are you okay, son?" He asks me, he really sounds genuine. I love my dad, he always tries to be there for me.

"I will be..." I admit sadly, sighing after I do. He looks at the floor and then back at me.

"I'm sorry about your mother, I've spoken to her about how she is time and time again, but people can't always change, just remember I love you, okay Kyle?" He says. I smile a little, only a little and close the door.

Who are you calling rude?!

I don't want to talk to anyone right now...

I glance at my alarm clock.** 12:47**. Still kind of early, I doubt my mom will let me out of my room for the rest of the day. She probably thinks I'm studying right now, ha. That's funny.

Funny because I'm not. Okay it's not really funny... I just really feel rebellious right now.

I need to find something to do. My room's pretty tidy, except for the odd thing out of place so I can't really do any big clean up or something like that. Trust me, those things really pass the time.

I can't use my phone, my mom took it. I can't use the computer in my room either, my mom could check in on me at anytime and throw a fit. She specifically told me not to use it...

About five or ten minutes later I find myself going around my room and straightening every little thing out. This is because I'm bored, plus I kind of have OCD when it comes to my room. Everything has to be neat, especially when it's the space I sleep in every night.

It doesn't take me long to make everything pretty much perfect. I check my clock again, **13:04**. Damn, time really wants to go slow today. Maybe I should lie on my bed and try to sleep. I sigh, turning towards my bed, when something catches my eye.

_What the hell?_

I notice a bright green object poking out from underneath my bed. It looks like something I lost quite a while ago...

I kneel down and reach out to it, once I grab it and examine it I smile slightly.

_Hello ushanka, my old friend._

I gently place it down on the floor bedside me, brushing it down a little. I sigh, I'm not entirely sure why, I guess I'd properly calmed down since being upset and crying my eyes out. I look back towards my bed and can't help but wonder...

_What else is under my bed?_

I lower myself right down so my head is touching the floor and take a good look under my bed. It's not half as messy as I expected. I scan the area with my eyes and notice a couple of books, a battery, a pen, a chocolate bar wrapper and some strange small silver thing.

_What's that?_

I have no idea what this thing is, it must be no bigger than my thumb. I try to grab it but it's just out of arms length. Damn. Looks like I have to go under my bed to get it.

Oh Moses, I've not done that in forever, I'm not sure I can even fit. Fuck it, who knows, it could end up being worth my while.

_Here goes nothing..._

I drag myself underneath my bed, keeping my eyes locked onto this small silver object. When my chest is under I attempt to reach it. If someone walked in on me right now, I'd feel like such an idiot. Okay, stretching my arm now... wow it could pop out of it's socket if I keep this us.

_Urgh! Come on! Almost there... bingo_!

I exhale deeply as I reverse awkwardly out from under my bed. It's uncomfortable and takes me a good few seconds but I manage fine. I take a look at what I've just retrieved.

_It's.. a key?_

Why is there a key under my bed? And for what? It looks very familiar...

Oh. It's my window key. My window hasn't been opened for months... it's always cold here so don't wonder how I cope on hot nights. Opening a window just isn't important in this town.

I used to sneak out if my window all the time... and people used to sneak in...

No. Not this again! All it does is upset me... why can't I just forget things? I growl in frustration and throw my window key at the wall.

_Fuck_.

* * *

Despite being a nerdy student, I really hate homework. Especially because if I get one bad grade, my mom will go crazy. Really crazy.

You guessed it yet? That's right, I'm doing homework.

It's around eleven 'o' clock at night, or something like that. I can't turn around and look at the clock. I'm in great focus here, this is good. That's what my parents want, good homework, good grades and for me to become a lawyer. I don't know much about law, but I'm sure I could be a lawyer.

My phone vibrates on my desk, which I'm sat on. I should have mentioned that before..

I glance at it and see I have a text from Stan. I know he's my best friend but I have to ignore it and continue this homework. I might as well get it done, I always do my homework way to early but it's better to be safe than sorry!

Nobody can distract m-

_WHAT THE FUCK?!_

I nearly jump five feet in the air, there's a hand over my mouth! There's a hand over my mouth! I try to shout or scream but it's all muffled and doesn't seem to work.

Okay, maybe this can distract me.

I attempt to struggle but another hand, and arm, wraps around my body. I look down and freeze.

_Oh._

I stare at the arm encircling me and roll my eyes. I turn my head to stare at my captor. I give him a stern look and he slowly releases me, seeing that I'm annoyed with him and also that I won't scream now.

"Eric! What are you doing here?!" I whisper harshly at my home intruder, who seems to have climbed through my window. I lose the damn window key all the time so locking the window isn't really an option...

We've been together for two months and he's never done this before.

I don't mean climb through my window, I mean climb though it without my knowledge.

"I wanted to see my Jew." He coos, reaching up to run his hand through my hair. Oh Moses, he really has good timing doesn't he?

"I like surprises but this is just too far..." I say coldly and grab his wrist, moving him away from my hair...

"Aww, don't be like that Kyle." He smirks and I fold my arms in frustration. I'm not really that mad, I just don't want my mom to hear him. I also kind of want to go to sleep.

"My mom could wake up and hear you." I say matter-of-factly. He just scoffs and goes to sit down on my bed. Oh sure, just make yourself at fucking home.

He playfully motions for me to come and join him, I'm supposed to be mad but I really can't object. He just grins as I take a seat next to him.

"You're such an asshole." I say weakly, not intending to upset or offend him. It wouldn't anyway.

"How does it feel to be in love with an asshole?" He asks me playfully, smirking the whole time. I slowly grin back at him and wrap my arms around his neck, bringing our faces close to each other.

"Fucking awesome." I whisper as I close the gap between our lips. He immediately begins kissing back with force and passion.

It doesn't take long for things to become heated and at some point his hands had found their way to me. He gently holds my waist with one while the other goes into my hair. I don't know why he likes my hair so much...

I'm still a little scared that my mom could walk in, or discover my sexuality. Part of me really wants to tell her, simply because she's my mom and I lo-

I _like_ her.

I know I sound like a horrible person right now, but there are reasons behind my opinions of her...

I dismiss these thoughts from my head and find myself lying down on my bed with Eric on top of me. We're still kissing which is proving to be a good distraction from my homework, I involuntarily let out a quiet moan. Oops.

That's kind of embarrassing...

He seems to like it though, typical. In response he slips his tongue into my mouth and slides it gently across my own.

_Nice_.

I forget everything else happening at that moment. I completely submit and let Eric kiss me, touch me, pretty much do whatever he wanted to me. Well, not whatever, we're only kissing...

I even fail to notice one of his hands as it travels further and further down my body. I gasp when he grips my erection through my pants. Shit.

That's when everything comes back into my head, my homework, my parents. I quickly put my hands on his chest and give him a push, I have to use a good bit of force considering our size, weight and strength difference. Our mouths disconnect and he stares at me, we're still really close but he knows to stop. He knows something's up

"W-We can't... my parents..." I pant. He gets the message, I know he does. He just wants to mess with me, judging by the smirk on his face.

"You're no fun Kyle..." He says seductively, I like this voice. "I know you want me to take you right now on you're bed. And while your parents are in the house, you dirty slut." He leans down and starts to kiss my neck. Incase you were wondering, he does usually call me a slut when we're in the bedroom. Not trying to offend me of course.

"Oh? What makes you think I would want to have sex with you?" I say sarcastically, deciding to play along. I really can't help myself.

He moves his head back up to look me in the eyes, making our noses touch. "It's written all over your face, babe." Come to think of it, my face does feel like it's on fire. Oops again. He chuckles slightly and sits up, allowing me to do the same.

"I need to get to my homework. If I don't get a perfect score, I'm blaming you." I poke him in the side and he rolls his eyes.

"Oh please, you always get perfect scores, and what did I do?!" He asks defensively. Oh geez, don't make me say it.

"You distracted me." I fold my arms and give him a scolding look.

"Why Kyle, whatever do you mean?" He asks innocently. Oh wow, what a douchebag.

"Just shut up..." I say playfully. "And I need perfect scores if I'm meant to become a lawyer..." I tell him. I don't think you need perfect scores, but that's what my mom seems to think.

"Do you really want to be a lawyer?" He asks almost suspiciously. I raise an eyebrow at him and really consider the question.

"My mom wants me to so I guess..." I mumble, trailing off into thought.

"That's not answering the question, Jew." He says, looking at me expectantly. Do I really want to be a lawyer?

"No... I don't..." I admit, defeated. I cast my eyes down towards the floor and really think. This is my future, and I don't get to choose it. Wow.

Everything goes silent for several moments, I don't feel awkward, just a bit sad. My mom wants me to become a lawyer, marry a nice Jewish girl and have loads of children... fuck. I don't want any of those things.

"You need to tell her..." Eric says hesitantly. He knows I'm scared to tell her, I'm scared to tell my own mother what I want to be when I grow up. I don't know what I want to be, I just don't want to be a lawyer.

"I... I know." I say sadly, unsure how I would even begin to talk to my mom. Maybe I'll worry about it another time, I hate to think about this.

I feel a hand cup my cheek, it pushes my head to the side. I look straight at Eric, he offers me a small smile and I return it slowly.

"You could be anything you want to. I believe in you." He whispers, I hold back tears. I don't know what came over me but that just made me so happy, to hear him say that.

"You should go, I'm tired and we have school tomorrow." I say softly. He retracts his hand and stands up, heading towards the window. I follow him over to it and watch as he opens it and turns to face me.

"When are you going to talk to her?" He asks me, I never knew Eric cared so much about my future.

"When I'm ready.." I say slowly. He nods his head and gives me a quick kiss.

"I love you." He doesn't say this to me often, and when he does, it's really special.

"I love you, too." I reply. He smiles brightly and kisses me again, on my forehead this time. I close my eyes for a few seconds and when I re-open them, he's gone. I sigh and decide to go to bed.

* * *

_Why does this always happen to me_?!

I can't cope. I can't do this. I'm trapped in a horrible household where I have no say in my future and a horrible mother who hates me. She hates me because of who I am. I have to get away. Right now.

I wipe away my tears and walk across the room to retrieve the window key. I clutch it protectively and use it to unlock my window. The cold breeze touches my face and I feel a sense of freedom I haven't felt in a long time.

_Okay, I can do this..._

I start a countdown in my head and slowly place the window key down on my windowsill. When I reach zero, I hold my breath and jump out of my window.

_The prisoner you call a son has just escaped, bitch._

* * *

IMPORTANT! READ!

I JUST WANTED TO QUICKLY THANK EVERYONE FOR READING AND ESPECIALLY FOR REVIEWING! THIS STORY HAS NEARLY 300 HITS! AHHHHHHHH! THE FACT THAT YOU GUYS ARE ENJOYING THIS STORY MEANS SO MUCH TO ME AND I CAN'T THANK YOU GUYS ENOUGH! I LOVE YOU ALL!

* * *

Boom! Kyle is free! But what will he do now? I'm so proud of this chapter and it's beautiful romance and happiness and it's sooo cute!

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Reviewer question: Where do you think Kyle will go?

Lottie x

* * *

Review responses:

Esmtz: Its nice to know you're enjoying it! And don't worry, you'll find out soon! Thanks for reviewing:)

PuppyKatGirl: Don't worry! Your answer to the last question made me laugh! And more will become clear the more you read!:)

AriJustAri: You're welcome! And thank you so much:)

6symphknot: If they're meant to be, they'll be. And OMG thank you! That's means a lot to me:)

Kyman is Life: That's a good answer! Of course he'd miss him! But consider this: what if something was stopping him coming back? Sorry if this just confuses you!

AnimatedNation: Your review made me sooooo happy! Thank you for enjoying my story! I'm going to update as quickly as I can because I read Kyman all the time and they NEVER update quick enough! Plus there are never enough Kyman stories! Anyway, good answer, even if you aren't sure. Maybe you can read minds... forget I said that! Thank you so much for reviewing and liking my story!


	4. Little answers

I think I might have updated a day or two late but hopefully this chapter will be worth it! Enjoy:)

**Thank you so much for reading guys! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: If I owned South Park instead of Matt and Trey I would be soooooo happy.

* * *

Chapter 4: Little answers

I run. I run on and on as fast as my legs can carry me. A feeling of excitement and giddiness comes over me and I start to laugh a little as I run. Once I know I'm a good distance from my house, I stop, panting hard.

I can't believe I'm really doing this. It's crazy. Where do I go now?

_Think think think..._

Shit. I have no idea where to go...

Wait. I know somewhere I can go to think and calm down... that's a start.

* * *

I take a seat on the bench and sigh deeply. This place brings back so many memories. Do you remember Starks pond? I love it here, it's a great place to hang out with friends and ice skate when the water is frozen over.

I don't want to go home. I don't want to go back to her, but I don't know where to go. I'm scared, I need someone right now. I need someone to talk to!

_I need Eric..._

I feel tears in my eyes and my vision goes blurry, I try to fight it but there's no use. I cry silently, feeling lost and alone.

"Kyle?" I hear from behind me. I smile at the familiar voice and turn around to look at him.

"Hey Kenny..." I greet him sadly. He seems to notice I've been crying and takes a seat next to me.

"What are you doing here?" He asks me, taking a cigarette out of his pocket and a lighter.

"I snuck out of my house and I don't want to go back, you?" I can tell Kenny anything, I'm glad he found me here. Of all the people who could've found me here, it's him. I probably want to talk to him even more than Stan at the moment. Stan doesn't understand. He has a great family and a girlfriend who loves him.

"I come here a lot, to smoke and get away from everything." He tells me as he lights his cigarette, I just nod my head and stare out towards the pond.

"That's good. It helps to get away." I say softly. Kenny has problems at home like me too, I hate complaining about my home problems to him since his are worse. He has to deal with drugs, alcohol and physical abuse. He doesn't really get hit, but his dad and older brother hit each other. Really badly. He's lucky to eat everyday and his house is gross and cold. I feel sorry for him.

"Stan spoke to me this morning after you left, about last night." I don't look at him, I don't really want to watch him smoke. Everyone knows I hate it, Eric even quit for me...

You know, when he was here...

"Oh..." That's all I can bring myself to say, it's all I think of saying. I know what's coming, and I'm not looking forward to it.

"I miss Cartman, too." He admits. Okay, that wasn't what I expected. I expected something similar to what Stan had said, about me needing to move on.

"You're going to tell me I need to move on now, aren't you." I say, I'm not asking because I'm almost certain he's going to say that.

"No, because I know you can't. You love him more than anything." Wow. Okay. Kenny does know something about love. I don't know how, he's normally trying to get laid.

"What am I meant to do if I can't move on? I want him back, but I know that's not going to happen." I say sadly. I have a good point, Eric isn't coming back and I cant get over him. I'm stuck in love with someone I'm never going to see again...

"How do you know he isn't going to come back?" He asks me, I blink a couple of times and look at Kenny. He stares back at me, waiting for an answer.

"Because he told me..." I'm actually a little thankful he did tell me, so I didn't get my hopes up.

"Well, I bet he hates his life without you in it. And think about this, Cartman is a fantastic liar and manipulator." I stare back out to the pond and really think about this, Eric wouldn't lie to me. Ever. And if he was going to come back, he'd be here by now...

When I look back at Kenny he's smiling, okay this is officially weird. "What are you thinking?" I ask him, narrowing my eyes at him.

"Remember when Cartman drank my ashes thinking it was chocolate milk back in fourth grade?" I nod my head hesitantly, very confused to where he was going with this. "Well sometimes I still see things he sees and get to see what he's doing and thinking." I feel my eyes get three times bigger. He must know where Eric is! I can go and find him! I'm going to find him and slap him and then kiss him and tell him how much I missed him. And then punch him. I'm going to grab hold of him and never let him go again!

I feel a massive grin spread across my face. "You know where he is!" I practically shout at Kenny, I feel happier than I've been in the past three months.

Kenny nods at me and the sighs. "I'm not telling you where he is, Kyle." He says softly and kind of sadly. I feel my emotions drop and all my hope vanishes. Why is Kenny doing this?

"Why?" I almost whisper. I'm so upset right now that I'm losing my damn voice.

"If I do you're going to go after him and something could happen to you. He's far away." He tells me sadly. I'm glad Kenny cares, but I'm so unhappy without Eric.

"Well... can you at least tell me if he's moved on? Does he have someone new in his life? Does he miss me? And is he thinking of coming back?" I feel my heart racing, I just want to know everything, but I know Kenny won't tell me much. Still, if he can answer these questions, I'll be happy for now.

"He hasn't moved on, there is some new people in his life, he's made a few friends and his mom has a lot of new... clients." I visibly cringe and Kenny clears his throat before continuing. "He still loves you and has no interest in anyone he's met. And he's thought about coming back many times but he won't let himself because he thinks it'll ruin you're life if he does." He finishes, I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I can't believe this... he still thinks... URGH!

"He thinks.. he's wrong! Nothings got better! Nothings changed!" I exclaim.

"I don't know much about what you're talking about Kyle, but please don't shoot the messenger." He smirks playfully and I shove him gently.

"Thanks Kenny..." I say. His smirk becomes a genuine smile at me and pats me on the back gently before dropping his finished cigarette on the ground. I watch him walk away and then turn my attention back to the pond.

* * *

I've been waiting for about twenty minutes, where is he? This was his damn idea so he better actually show up!

I'm sat on the bench at Starks pond waiting for Eric, who texted me asking to meet him here. So here I am, and he's taking forever. It's pretty late, about nine 'o' clock at night and my mom thinks I'm in my room asleep. I told her I felt ill and wanted to go to bed early, just so I could sneak out and she wouldn't be checking on me.

It's kind of pretty here, and romantic. What? Eric is more of a romance person than me! Of course he only shows that side of him when it's just me and him around. When other people are here, he has to keep up his dangerous and tough reputation. It's crazy, really, but it also means nobody has ever messed with me since we got together.

How is being untouchable, you ask? Awesome. A few weeks ago Craig called me a faggot when I walked into him. As soon as I told him I'd get Eric to kick his ass he backed away immediately. It was funny.

We've been together for nearly three months so I'm used to being untouched and off limits to pretty much everyone who knows Eric Cartman. Incase you were wondering, that's everyone in this town. A lot of people know him as 'that kid who fed another kid his dead parents in a chilli', not those exact lines but that's the gist of it.

I find myself shivering a little, it's getting colder...

_Where is he?_

"BOO!"

I swear I could've jumped five fucking feet in the air at that moment. Instead I let a very surprised and involuntary scream out which is muffled by a large warm hand covering my mouth. I can feel my heart pounding and I turn to see Eric, laughing. Laughing his face off. That makes me feel great that does.

His hand retracts back towards him as he clutches his stomach while laughing. Urgh.

I punch him in the shoulder. Hard. Hard enough to hurt, because I'm angry. He calms down from his laugh and grabs both my wrists when I go to punch him again.

"You're an asshole!" I spit at him in annoyance. He smirks and lets me go, looking at his arm and then back at me.

"Well Kahl, you punch harder than I thought you would." He teases me. He doesn't even look affected by my punch anyway. And he's pronouncing my name incorrectly on purpose!

"You and I both know what you just did to my name." I say darkly. His smirk grows wider and he tucks one of my curls behind my ear.

"Well, I think I can call you whatever I want and say it how I want, Jew." He hasn't called me Jew in a while, he has done before when we get into serious fights though. Suddenly, I get a cunning idea. Oh yeah, Kyle is clever!

"Fine, then from now and on I shall call you Cartman. That is your name to me just like old times." I say smugly, he scoffs and folds his arms.

"Sure, sure. You'll be calling me Eric in the next five minutes." He says like he's the smartest person ever. I raise an eyebrow at him.

"No, I really won't. You're wrong _Cartman_." I purposely say his second name cockily.

"I bet you will. I bet you..." He pauses and think for a few moments before smirking wider, "...a blowjob." He finishes. Well, I'm getting a blowjob later. Yay!

"You're on!" I say a little too enthusiastically. "What took you so long to get here by the way?" I ask out of pure curiosity. Also because I had to wait for ages and it pissed me off.

"I had a fight with my mom, so she kind if held me up a bit." He tells me, shrugging his shoulders. I guess that means it's not that big of a deal. Then again, Eric has a habit of hiding his emotions. Then again again, he doesn't with me so I guess it really isn't a big deal.

"Wow, look how many stars there are Cartman." I say randomly, it's just another excuse to say his second name again. I'm trying my best to hold back a very amused grin when he looks visibly agitated.

He grunts in reply and looks at the ground. Okay then. I end up grinning anyway, despite doing my best to contain it.

"Hey Cartman." I say, still smiling a little.

No reply.

_"Cartman."_

"My name is Eric, Jew." He spits coldly. Awww I'm getting to him! It's not difficult for me to do that, it's also not difficult for him to forgive me. Apparently, I'm too cute to resist (this isn't something I believe myself but I feel happy knowing Eric thinks I'm cute).

"My name is _Kyle_, Cartman." I say in my most innocent voice, he sighs and looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"You don't know what that does to me..." He says almost through gritted teeth. What's he talking about?

"Huh?" I question dumbly, I've gone all serious now. That's only because I'm genuinely confused. Does he mean when I call him Cartman or when I pretend to be innocent?

His expression softens and he looks defeated. Score! "Kyle... everytime you call me Eric, something inside me changes. I feel happy and exited and special. I know it sounds really gay, but I _am_." He scratches the back of his neck nervously. "When you call me Cartman you just remind me of the fact that that's how almost everyone in this town refers to me. You just sound like another asshole, and most of those assholes hate me." He finishes kind of awkwardly. Wow, that actually touched me. Eric can't really talk about his feelings... not even to his mom. I smile affectionately at him and he still seems a little nervous and embarrassed.

I take brief note of his slightly surprised look as I suddenly wrap my arms around his neck and plant a chaste kiss on his nose. He blinks at me and doesn't say anything. Then after a few seconds his hands seems to automatically find my waist.

"I love you, Eric." I tell him fondly. He smirks at me playfully and moves his head downwards to start kissing my neck.

"When are you going to suck my dick then, Kyle?" He says softly into my neck. Realisation hits my like a tone of bricks.

_Fuck!_

* * *

Sometimes I wonder how I stay sane, how I cope. I need someone who understands me. I love Kenny and Stan to pieces but they can't really relate to how I'm feeling.

Even though Kenny surprised me tonight...

He confirmed it though, Eric is forcing himself to stay away. He thinks if he returns it'll ruin my life. Oh, I'm sorry, you have no idea what I'm talking about. It's to do with the reason he left in the first place.

Sorry to disappoint, but that's going to be a story for another day, you've already learned so much.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and take it out. It tells me I have a text message.

_Please don't be my mom, please don't be my mom_!

It's from... Kenny. Thank fuck. I slowly open it and read what it says.

**Kenny: Go home, dnt do anythng stoopid k?**

I decided to take his advice, Kenny's a smart guy and a great friend. He's looking out for me and I wasn't really thinking when I left home...

Nobody knew I was even gone, I climbed back into my room via the window which isn't so difficult with the tree right there. The clock in my room reads **14:17.**

Shit.

* * *

_I hate you, time._To make up for the shortness of this chapter I will give you a spoiler for the next one: you find out a lot more about what happened three months ago.

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Reviewer question: Why do you think Eric left in the first place?

Lottie x

* * *

Review responses:

Kyman is Life: Wow, you have the most epic answers to the wrong question! Anyway, thank you for enjoying the last chapter and my whole Kyle-getting-flashbacks thingy. You were kind of right about the last question, considering Kenny shows up. Hopefully that wild imagination of yours will bless me with your brilliance again when you try to answer this chapters question?

esmtz: Im glad you like it! And you'll get to find out a lot more in the next couple of chapters:)

PuppyKatGirl: Well...you gave an interesting answer but unfortunately there's no Eric! Yet?:)

AriJustAri: Well he didn't go to Eric's house but even if he did there would be no Eric. Thank you for enjoying the story and reviewing!

AnimatedNation: One of your answers was correct! Congratulation! Kyle and Cartman used to go to Starks Pond together! And thank you so much! I plan to keep up this "awesome work"!:D

SymphKnot: I agree! But maybe Kyle will tell his mother the truth? And omg you love my fic! Thank youuu!:)


	5. Confession

This is a chapter you've been waiting for, trust me, you'll know why.

**Thank you so much for reading guys! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: South Park ain't mine, you guys I am so seriously.

* * *

Chapter 5: Confession

I've come to like you, you've listened to all my problems and tried to understand all of this. But you don't know enough. Maybe now you deserve to know the answers to some of the questions floating in your head.

So, as you already know, Eric Cartman left three months ago. I've been kind of depressed ever since. Love _really_ fucking hurts, I'll tell you that for free.

Anyway, he left because he thought it would be better for me if he did, boy was he wrong. Basically, it all started when one of my old enemies caught up with me. You may have heard his name before.

Guilt.

Now, guilt knew exactly how to toy with me. He knew all the buttons to press to make me feel like shit.

Three months ago, guilt made me tell my mother the truth. Nobody told her about my sexuality or about me dating Eric. This was my doing, I asked everyone I told not to. I was a little doubtful at first it would work, but it did. She had no idea. But I had to tell her.

I'd been seriously contemplating this for... probably two weeks and decided to go for it. I figured even though she was a complete bitch, she was also my mother and would hopefully understand and accept me.

I also spoke to Eric about it, he was reluctant but told me to do what I thought was right. He also said he'd stand by me.

It just seemed like a good idea...

So I walked home with Eric the day I decided to go through with it, he gave me a quick kiss and wished me luck when we reached me house. I just beamed at him and entered my house confidently as he walked away. I took a deep breath and saw my mom walk into the room. When she saw me she looked quite nonchalant.

"Oh, hello bubbie. How was school?" She asks me politely. Okay, she seemed to be in a good mood. This was rare, if you were wondering, so I figured this was a good time to tell her.

"It was okay..." I answer quite nervously, I can feel my confidence slowly going away. Calm down, you have to do this! "Can I, um, t-just talk.. to you mom?" She doesn't seems to notice my nerves and smiles slightly.

"Well sure Ky-al, what's wrong?" I hate how she says my name. I fucking hate it so much...

I gulp, obviously not meaning to, and gesture toward the couch. "You might want to, uh, sit..." This is a good thing I'm doing, I need to calm down. Eric agreed with me, this is good! Nothing bad will happen! It might just be a little shock for her!

She does as I gestured and I follow suit. I feel very uncomfortable at this point and I'm literally sat on the very edge of the couch. She doesn't mention anything about it so I'm a little relieved. Everything is silent while I think about how to word this..

Then, "So, what is it?" She asks, a hint of impatience in her voice but I don't let it get to me. I take a deep breath and look her in the eyes.

"I have something to tell you..." I trail off, still kind of making this up as I go along. Yeah, I wanted to plan everything I said, so what? "...it's big. And I'm not sure how you'll react but you need to know." She looks unaffected by what I'm saying which I think is a good thing.

"Okay." She says coolly, encouraging me to continue. I'm struggling to hold her gaze at this point. Cheer me on guys.

"Well... I discovered something about myself, there's not really a light way to say it..." I was scared. Very scared. I need to just say it, c'mon! This needs to be out in the open! "I'm gay, mom." I finish uneasily. It felt good once I'd said it though, I began to relax.

"W-What?" She says uneasily. Shit, there's no going back now, I need to tell her the rest. She needs to know about Eric.

"I'm gay," I repeat, trying to keep my voice as normal as I can. I don't want her to know I'm scared to say this... "and I'm in love." I add slowly, studying her face. She looks shocked as fuck.

I see something move out of the corner of my eye and glance towards the stairs. My dad is watching. As I mentioned previously, he knows everything, it's just my mom who doesn't. I'm actually glad my dad's there, he'll support me.

"W-Wha? In l-" She starts to chuckle, looking as though she finds this genuinely amusing. What. The. Fuck. "Oh Kyle my bubbie you must just be confused, a lot of teenagers get confused at some point." I raise an eyebrow. I'm NOT confused. Definitely not. And I don't think a lot of teenagers get confused at some point. A few, yeah, but not "a lot".

"N-No I'm not confused, I've been in a relationship for the past few months." I feel my confidence slowly coming back. I just need to be prepared...

"A relationship?" Her eyes seem to darken. Okay, bye-bye confidence. I really wish you didn't have to leave me. "Who have you been seeing, Ky-al?!" She asks me sternly, with a raised voice. Shit, she sounds angry now...

"Eric Cartman..." I say more quietly than I intended. I think the fear is notable in my voice now.

"ERIC CARTMAN?!" She screams, I see dad descending down the stairs, when he gets to the bottom he stands there and I know he's going to step in at some point. "YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MONSTER WHO WANTS YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE DEAD?!" I cast my eyes down to the floor and take a deep breath. I'm losing control...

"Mom...please listen to me. This is the way I am and I'm perfectly happy being w-"

"YOU'RE HAPPY BEING A DISGUSTING QUEER WHO CLAIMS TO BE IN LOVE WITH THE RESIDENT NAZI?!" She roars. Oh god, this is going horribly wrong! Shit! I look up at her again. She looks like she could explode. Her face is bright red and her fists are clenched.

"He's changed," I say weakly, feeling tears in my eyes, "I love him." I'm sort of just repeating myself a bit here... but I'm not sure what else to say!

"You weren't supposed to become this..." She says almost sadly. The look on her face becomes one of utter disgust and hatred. "You we're going to marry a nice Jewish girl!" One of the tears escapes my eyes and goes down my cheek.

I notice Ike walk downstairs and stand next to dad, watching the scene before him. The eleven year old offers me a tiny sympathetic smile. Obviously trying to reassure me. I return a sad but grateful smile and wipe my cheek. Looking back towards my mother, she glares daggers at me and has a strange dark look in her eye.

This isn't my mother. It can't be.

"WHAT ELSE DO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME, HUH?! THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BECOME A LAWYER EITHER?!" I really didn't want to answer that question... because the answer is no. But judging by her silence and folded arms, she expected an answer.

"I...no..." I answer sadly. Her eyes widen, oops. I don't think she expected that. Why do I make things worse?

"WHY THE FUCK NOT?!" She yells. Okay, I'm pretty sure this one is rhetorical. Which is good because I didn't want to answer. I just need to reason with her, I need to get my point across and maybe she can accept me...

"Look mom, I-" Bang. I'm interrupted by an intense pain on the right side of my face which sends me falling off of the couch and onto the floor. I look up at my mother who is now stood up above me. Wait.

Wait.

_She... slapped me?_

"Mom! WHAT THE FUCK?" I hear Ike yell.

"SHEILA!" Dad exclaims immediately after.

I close my eyes and bring my hand up to my face. I gingerly touch the area which hurts and hiss a little. She really slaps hard. Wow.

"YOU ARE NOT MY SON! I REFUSE TO BE THE MOTHER OF A LYING FAGGOT! GET OFF OF ME GERALD!" I feel myself being helped to my feet by Ike. Who looks concerned.

"I'm okay..." I say quietly, weakly. When I look towards the woman who's supposedly my mother, I see her being held by my dad. Wait. Is she? Does she want to hit me again?

"LET GO GERALD!" She screams, although never taking her hateful eyes off of me. Ouch.

"Sheila! Calm down! It's not that big of a deal! Don't you want Kyle to be happy?" My dad was practically begging her to stop. If he wasn't restraining her Moses knows what she'd do to me.

"I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR MY SON! THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR HIM! DON'T LOOK SO INNOCENT YOU LYING LITTLE BASTARD!" She yells the last part at me. I feel heartbroken. So upset. This is my mother, the woman who brought me into this world and who should always be there for me.

"S-Shit..." I barely hear my dad manage to say that. I think he's struggling to hold my mom back. Oh no. I feel something tug at my side and look down at Ike.

"Kyle, go. Run..." He whispers to me. I raise an eyebrow at him and then look back at the struggle going on between my parents.

Oh my god. Dad's about to lose grip on her...

I slowly begin to walk backwards towards the front door. I need that woman away from me. Right now.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE QUEER! I'LL KILL YOU!" My mother roars. I feel my eyes tear up and watch as she shakes herself out of my dads grip. Everything slows down.

My heart is beating ten times faster than normal. It feels so strange. Everything feels so strange. I see the shocked faces of dad and Ike and the rage on my mothers face. Wow, she looks ugly. I can't believe I came out of that.

When everything speeds up again, mom comes at me like a torpedo. I act on impulse, opening and closing the door behind me and escaping this hell of a home once again. I run, as fast as I can down the street. Never looking back.

"YOU'LL BE BACK!" I hear. Oh shit! Oh Moses! She's right!

_What do I do now?_

* * *

I apologise for shortness, more is on it's way!

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Reviewer question: What will Kyle do now?

Lottie x

* * *

Review responses:

symphknot: Congratulations you smart person! You gave the correct answer! Well done! I award you with... well I cant really give you anything. But, hey, I now consider you a genius!:)

Kyman is Life: I am happy to inform you that the part about Kyle being better off without Eric is partly true to the reason he left! You'll find out more in the next chapter about that though. And don't worry! Your rambling is entertaining! Anyway, yes Kenny refused to give information, which sucks! But Kyle could get hurt! He's looking out for him! Thank you for sharing your crazy imagination once again:)

esmtz:  
Of course things will get better! Endings must be happy after all:)

And yes the reason behind Cartman leaving is slowly unraveling. Thankyou for reviewing:)


	6. Gone

**Thank you so much for reading guys! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park or any of it's characters! I'm super cereal!

* * *

Chapter 6:

Well guys, now you know why I dislike my mom so much. She doesn't accept me and she's hit me before.

Many times.

Three months ago when I told her the truth, that was the first time she had ever done such a thing. I wish it was the last time as well as the first. If I really really piss her off, she hits me. Dad and Ike have no idea she still does it, but they're not usually even around to watch.

Dad's way too busy with work, Ike's way too busy with friends. My little brother, the genius, prefers to hang out with friends and dick about than do his school work. My dad has always been busy with work, he just does it more now to avoid talking to my mom as often. I think they've split up but don't want to announce it until later. Maybe when me and Ike have left the house or something.

What? After I ran out? You really want to know?

It's nice to know you're interested.

* * *

I knew where I could go, it was so obvious. I ran for Eric's house. I knew he'd help me.

I guessed I fucked up then, telling my mom I mean. I really did think it was a good idea!

Am I an idiot? You know what, don't even answer that. Shitty question.

So as I said before, I ran to Eric's house. He doesn't live too far away from me. I didn't bother knocking, I spend a lot of my evenings round his house so it's basically a second home to me. Eric's mom is always out. He won't talk about it, but she's still sleeping around with many different men. I think she gets paid that way...she's, you know...

The P word.

He told me a while ago, when we had been together for a couple of weeks. I kind of already knew, but I wasn't going to mention that.

His house seemed deserted, almost. It was mid-afternoon and he would've been home for... I don't know, twenty minutes?

How long had I been speaking to my mom? Urgh. Fuck knows.

It doesn't take long for Eric to come down the stairs and see me. He pauses and blinks a couple of times. He's used to me casually walking into his house like I own the place, but I was early and he knew I had news.

He must've known because... well... he knew I was going to speak to my mom but the look on his face...

It was almost as if he knew I'd have bad news.

"Kyle..." Is all he manages to say, he walks upto me and places a hand on my cheek, where my mom hit me. His face seems to darken."Who did this?!" He asks me angrily.

"Is it that obvious?" I say, chuckling a little. It isn't funny at all but I don't want him worrying, plus I don't know how to feel at the moment. I'm trying not to show it but I feel like crying.

"There's a massive red hand mark across your face." He states coldly and very seriously. Okay, he isn't in the mood to smile or laugh. This is the serious and protective Eric Cartman. This Eric Cartman makes you feel very special and... I can't think of another word. He makes me feel safe. There. That'll do.

I don't reply to him, I simply stare at him. I cant bring myself to try to look happy. My expression at the moment is probably pretty sad. He takes a couple of steps back and motions towards the couch.

"Sit." He all but orders. I know there's no use in protesting and that he's only going to help me. So I take a seat on his couch and watch him go into the kitchen.

I sigh deeply, and that's when the tears start to flow. I can't help it, they just do. I close my eyes as I cry silently.

My own mother doesn't want me as her son. She's rejecting me for being who I am and loving who I do. This is such a mess. I'm such an idiot. I've ruined my entire life.

After a few seconds I feel warmth on my injured cheek and when I open my eyes, I see Eric. One of his hands has returned to my cheek and he has a facial expression I've only seen on very few occasions. He looks sad.

"Please don't cry..." He begs softly. I wish I could stop, but I'm just way too upset.

"I'm s-sorry." I sob, this only seems to make him appear more sad. He shakes his head a little and kisses my forehead.

"Don't apologise," he says. It isn't something I expected him to say but fair enough. He lets go of me, turns around and picks up a glass of water from the coffee table. He must've got it when he went into the kitchen. I take it from him and drink, I wasn't thirsty but I knew that's what he wanted me to do.

When I'm finished I lean forward and place it back on the coffee table. I feel awful. Physically sick to my stomach and I can't remember the last time I was this upset.

"Tell me every detail." I hear Eric demand.

* * *

I spent the next week away from home. I didn't go to school and I had loads of texts and missed calls from dad and Ike. I was kind of trying to figure out what to do next. Oh, and Eric wouldn't let me leave his house. He thought my mom would hit me again.

I need to go home. I need things to be the way they used to. When my mother had no idea of my sexuality and everything was more calmed. I need it to be that way until I can go off to college or live somewhere away from home.

Eric knows all of this too. We spoke about it. We're just thinking about what to do next.

I've had visits nearly everyday from Stan and Kenny. Eric had gone to school Monday to tell them what's going on so they knew where to find me. Other than that he stayed at home all week to keep me company, though.

After that week I decided to call Ike. He picked up his cell phone almost immediately.

"Kyle? Is that you?!" I heard him practically yell through the phone.

"Hey Ike..." I say.

"Where are you? Mom and dad are going crazy without you." I figured they would be. Well, I knew dad would be.

"I'm at Eric's. Look, I just wanted to know how mad mom was. Is there a chance I could talk her round to... I don't know, accepting me?" If I wanted to go back there I needed to know I wont get hit again. I've been borrowing everything of Eric's for the past week, it's crazy how we've managed. His mom is hardly here so she doesn't care about that, or that I'm even here.

"Impossible. Sorry bro, she's gone ape shit. She won't listen to any of that." Fuck. Maybe I need to try something else.

"Alright. Don't tell her or dad where I am. I'll be home in the next couple of days." I tell him. I hear a sigh of relief through the phone.

"Good. Very good. Okay, I'll see you later." He says, sounding a lot happier.

"Bye." I hang up the phone.

* * *

"Do you think it'll work?" Eric asks me, studying my face carefully. I sigh deeply and shrug my shoulders.

"I hope so." I tell him. I'm going to be honest and say that I am really nervous. I shouldn't be scared of my own mother but... I am. So much.

"I'm coming with you." He says. I give him a kind of "are you serious" look. He just gawks at me. He doesn't think I'll argue with him on that one.

"No. You're going to stay here." I say quite firmly. He looks down at the floor.

"Your mom hit you because you're with me. And if this works, she could discover us again and do something even worse to you. As long as I'm here, you're at risk Kyle." Eric feels guilty. Clearly. He only feels that way toward a few people, I'm lucky I guess. He's partly right, but I can't allow him to say that...

"Shut up." I say fondly. He looks back at me and smiles a little. "You're worth every risk, Eric Cartman." I give him and brief kiss and head out of his front door. On my way back to hell.

* * *

"Ky-al?" My mother questions looking at me. Her look of shock quickly turns to one of anger.

"Hi mom..." I greet her sheepishly. She clenches her fists. Oh shit, this better work.

"WHY DID YOU COME BACK?! HUH?! YOU PATHETIC CHILD! AND WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WEARING?!" That'll be Eric's clothes, mom. "I DON'T WANT YOU HERE! YOU ARE NO LONGER MY SON!" Ouch. "I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE IN SOME DITCH SOMEWHERE!" What?! "HOW CAN YOU EVEN WALK IN HERE LIKE YOU OWN THE FUCKING PLACE YOU STUPID LITTLE-"

"I'm not gay." I say quickly.

Silence engulfs the room. I see Ike hiding at the top of the stairs. Dad must be at work. My mom seems to get a different look in her eye and her facial expression softens considerably. Okay, it's working. C'mon Kyle, you're dating Eric Cartman, you should be an epic liar by now.

"What did you just say bubbie?" She asks, a lot more quietly than she was just speaking. Or fucking shouting.

"You were right mom. I'm not gay." I am so gay.

"Y-You're not?" She asks. She's is so fucking homophobic, when I move out I'll be so happy.

"No. I'm confused like you said." I am so not confused. I'm so fucking gay, mom.

"You're are?" She seems really shocked. But in a good way. She's starting to sound quite happy.

"I'm not in love with Eric..." I love him more than you'll ever know.

"Good bubbalah. And what about the relationship you had with this boy?" She asks hopefully, walking closer to me very slowly. I'm scared, but I won't show it.

"It meant nothing to me." It means everything to me.

"What do you want to be when you're older Ky-al?" She's right in front of me now. I feel like she's secretly trying to intimidate me.

"A lawyer." Not a lawyer.

"I love you bubbie, but you're not aloud out of this house for the entire weekend." She says sternly. The plan worked! Everything can go back to normal! I can't wait to tell Eric!

"I love you too, mom. I'm going to bed now." I say nonchalantly. She nods her head and then walks off into the kitchen, not really seeming to care.

* * *

That Friday night seemed so long. And I was stuck in my house all Saturday and Sunday. Great. But at least things are starting to work out. I smile and take my phone out of my pocket as I sit on my bed. I decide to text Eric.

**It worked. I'm not aloud out of the house until after the weekend though.**

I get changed into some pajamas and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I come back into my room I check my phone. I have a text back from Eric.

**She won't hurt u anymore?**

I can't be certain she won't, but I can't have him worrying or doing something stupid. And Eric overreacts to loads of stuff. I decide to reassure him.

**No she won't. Everything will be** **fine.**

He should buy that. He trusts me after all. It takes roughly a minute for him to reply.

**She could find out about us.**

I sigh. Why must he look at everything negatively?

**Not if we're careful.**

Please shut up about this Eric... I don't think it's helping.

**Kyle, this is my fault. She could really hurt u if she knows about us again. I don't want anything to happen to u.**

Aww. It's cute but I have a bad feeling in my stomach. Where is he going with this?

**Don't worry. We can get through anything together. I love you.**

I wait patiently for a reply and get one about thirty seconds later.

**Love u too. I'll always love you, just remember that Kyle.**

I wonder for a second why he says the last part, it's probably nothing. I smile and turn my phone off. I can finally sleep after such an eventful day.

* * *

Sunday night was when everything changed. Eric texted me at about nine 'o' clock at night.

**Under the welcome mat at my** **house.**

I was very confused. I had no idea why he texted me this, especially at this time. But it's Eric, there must be a reason.

I climbed out of my window and got down to the ground via my tree. I decided to check this out while I remembered. Plus it was pretty mysterious, I have a big sense of adventure.

When I got to his house, something wasn't right. It was dark. All the lights were off. But Eric could be in bed and his mom would be out. Or maybe he was surprising me with something and it was supposed to be this way?

I felt a little giddy but decided to follow his instructions. I walk up to his front door and lift the welcome mat. One object lies beneath it.

An envelope.

I remember crying myself to sleep that night. I remember feeling like utter shit and regretting everything. I regretted being truthful to my mom. As I fell asleep that night, the letter inside that envelope haunted my dreams and took over my brain.

My life was ruined.

* * *

_Kyle,_

_I'm not good with goodbyes, and I know you'd cry and try to stop me, so by writing this down I'm making it easier. I've left. Me and my mom left this weekend while you were stuck at home. You just stopped your mom hitting you, I'm not going to be the reason she starts again. You're better off without me anyway, all I've done is cause trouble. This is hard for me, my mom's been wanting to move for a while and she probably would've left me anyway. I guess this was just a free ticket out of South Park. Don't get your hopes up, I'm never coming back. And I'm not revealing where I've gone either. I haven't told anyone. You're better off this way._

_Remember, I will always love you._

_Eric._

* * *

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Reviewer question: Is Kyle really better off without Eric?

Lottie x

* * *

Review responses:

AriJustAri: No I've honestly never written Kyman before! But I do have writing experiance and read shitloads of Kyman:/

Anyway, thank you sooo much for complimenting my skills and I hate Sheila so I thought she'd make a great villian. And if you liked the last chapter then I'm sure you'll like this one:)

esmtz: She's not just a bitch! She's a super bitch! Of course Gerald and Ike will always be there for Kyle but they're also in a difficult situation:/

Thank you so much for reviewing like every chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter:)

symphknot: I hate her too! And yep, you gave a good guess there! I hope you liked this chapter!


	7. Kenny's magical place

**Thank you so much for reading guys! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: I do not own South Park. I swear, on the moon and the stars in the sky.

* * *

Chapter 7:Kenny's magical place.

I feel like we're good friends now, you and I. Even if you're just a figment of my imagination who I'm talking to in my head.

So it's Sunday now. I'm actually aloud out of my house, and I took the opportunity. I mean, I could get away from my mom! C'mon! You understand, right?

Stan had called me that morning and asked me if I was allowed out. Once I said yes he immediately offered his house, just so we could spend time together. I think he secretly wanted me away from home. He doesn't know about... what my mom has done. All he knows is that she's a bitch who puts so much stress and pressure on me.

Then again, he could know. We have a few sleepovers and I'm pretty sure I caught him looking at some bruises on my arm the other week...

Shit.

I don't want to ask him. Then if he confirms it I'll have to tell him more. If he didn't know then I'd have to tell him!

Urgh! It's a big loop!

Me and Stan spent a good few hours of the morning watching TV and talking in his room. We weren't bored, despite what it sounded like. We had interesting stuff to talk about. Super best friend classified stuff. You cannot know!

I get a little pissed off at how much of his time he spends on his phone when he's talking to me. That's just ignorant. I feel my own phone vibrate in my pocket and decide it's okay to look at it considering Stan is already doing it.

Apparently I have a text from Kenny.

**Whre r u?**

I wonder briefly why he's asking where I am and if there's something important going on. But then I dismiss those thoughts and reply to him.

**Stan's.**

As soon as I press the 'send' button, Stan pipes up. "Dude, Kenny texted me asking where you were." I look over at him and see he hasn't looked up from his phone. Great.

"Same. I replied don't worry." I tell him. He makes a blank 'hmm' noise in response.

I had a feeling Kenny would be round here soon so, after Stan was off his phone, we both headed downstairs and sat on the couch. This way we could answer the door, still had TV, and Kenny had quick kitchen access (he's always taking food).

* * *

I had a weird feeling. It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling, but it wasn't good either. Something was different...

Was it because Stan was still texting even though it's been, like, two hours? No.

Was it because I had this one toe that was itchy for some reason? No.

Was it because Kenny kept staring at me with a huge grin on his face? Um... I'm going to say yes...

"Alright Kenny, what're you grinning about?" I finally ask, I'm a little frustrated and freaked out, but it's Kenny. This is normal. It's normal for him to be abnormal? Yeah, that should make sense.

He doesn't answer me, instead he grins wider and looks over at Stan. Said boy is still engrossed in his phone.

"Stanley, get off the device and lets go!" He suddenly demands. Stan raises an eyebrow and looks at me.

* * *

"Kenny where are we even going?" Stan sounds exhausted. I look towards Kenny who looks really happy. Like so happy it should be illegal. It's a little scary.

"To a magical place!" He exclaims happily. I look at Stan, he looks as concerned as me. I look back at Kenny who's looking ahead.

"Does this 'magical place' have a name?" I ask. Maybe this will give me and Stan more of an idea of where we are going.

"Yep." He replies as he marches on , now slightly ahead of me and Stan. He doesn't elaborate at all. Clever.

"What's the name?" Stan asks. Kenny suddenly halts and I end up walking into the back of him. I take a step back and he turns around almost dramatically.

"Awesome." He tells us. Raising both eyebrows a couple of times comically. Me and Stan share a confused glance. The place is called awesome?

"What?" I had to ask. It just didn't make any sense.

"The place has an awesome name!" He practically shouts. I fear for Kenny's sanity.

"Goddamnit Kenny..." Stan mumbles from beside me.

We continue to follow Kenny and end up walking all around South Park, and I'm pretty sure we walk in circles a few times. This is getting a little suspicious. I'm going to say something in a minute. I'm going to ask Kenny what's going on. Then we end up somewhere we weren't before. We were on the main street. You remember? The one with shops on like Tom's Rhinoplasty and that photography place.

I don't walk down here as much as I used to. There are a few new places I don't recognise.

Why am I even still following Kenny? And why is Stan? This is fucking stupid man. We've been wondering around for ages!

I feel something nudge me gently. I glance at Stan who's looking across the street.

"Holy shit dude. Look who it is!" I raise an eyebrow. Kenny looks to where Stan was gesturing with his eyes and I follow suit. Wait.

Wait.

I see someone I haven't seen in over three months.

Liane Cartman.

There are so many things I have to ask her! Before I know what I'm doing, I run blindly across the street and straight towards her. I hear Stan and Kenny calling me but I ignore them. Nothing can stop me from getting to her. And nothing does.

I stop in front of her, panting. She looks at me in shock. I notice she's carrying shopping bags with groceries in them, so she's living here? But is it permanent?

"Kyle?.." She says in her very sweet and high pitched voice. I try to calm my breathing and smile somewhat nervously at her, knowing I've probably just looked a little stupid.

I hear footsteps and glance to the side where I see Stan and Kenny crossing the street and joining me. Oh, I should probably say something..

"Hi Mrs. Cartman." I greet her, trying to sound as friendly as possible. To be honest, I am so happy to see her. Maybe Eric came here with her!

That's when something weird happens, she looks around, as if she's scared someone is watching her. Like she's doing something wrong.

"I-I'm sorry... I'm not supposed to talk to you..." She sounds almost frightened. Was she threatened by someone?

"Why not?" Kenny suddenly asks, taking words out of my mouth. Liane simple shakes her head and backs away slowly.

"I'm sorry Kyle, I have to go." She turns around and starts walking away from us. What the fuck? I can't give up that easily. I have to ask her something...

I run up to her and stop her by putting a hand on her arm. She stops and looks at me. She actually looks kind of... sad?

"Are you back? To live here permanently?" I ask quickly, removing my hand from her. She nods her head but doesn't say anything. We're silent for a few moments. I inhale and ask something I want to know so desperately. "Is Eric back too?" I ask hopefully.

She closes her eyes and turns her head away from me. I hear a quiet "N-No, he isn't." And then I watch helplessly as she walks away from me and down the street. I feel sad then. I think its because I got my hopes up that Eric would be here.

But there's a few questions on my mind.

Why won't she talk to me?

Who's threatened her?

Why isn't Eric here with her?

Something quickly flashes in my head. That huge cocky grin. It's a sign. A sign of knowledge and amusement as he sits back and watches me figure everything out.

No more mind games.

I turn around and head back toward Stan and Kenny. I move in on my target and point a finger into his chest.

"Kenny, tell me everything you know about this." I demand almost coldly and darkly. I guess I'm just desperate for answers. He puts his hand over mine and slowly moves it away from his chest and back towards me before releasing it.

"I don't know anything about Liane..." Part of me is screaming over and over that he could be lying. But he does only know what Eric knows. It's very possible he knows nothing about this.

I sigh in disappointment and frustration and look towards the ground. I feel a hand on my shoulder, when I look up I discover that hand belongs to Stan.

"Lets get out of here." He says.

* * *

Kenny leads us into some woodland on the outskirts of South Park. I have no idea why we're here, but hey, I just want to forget about stuff. Plus I have a sense of adventure so big that it'll one day get me killed.

...That isn't a nice thought.

We eventually come to a secluded clearing, it's really pretty here. Me and Stan aren't sure what to do or why we're here, so it's a little weird. Kenny walks straight into the middle of the clearing and starts texting. Okay.

"Stan. Come here." Kenny suddenly says without looking up from his phone. Stan hesitantly complies and walks over to Kenny. The blonde boy shows Stan his phone. Stan looks towards me with a shocked expression on his face.

Kenny then whispers something in his ear.

It gets even more suspicious when Stan does the unexpected: he walks away. He disappears into the woodland.

"Where's Stan going?" I ask Kenny, who only grins. It's the grin from earlier, the same grin he's been giving me all day. He puts his phone in his pocket and checks his watch.

"I need you to do something." He says simply, walking towards me. I narrow my eyes for a second but I mean, it can't be anything that bad. Besides giving him food or money.

"What is it?" I decide to allow him to ask me a favour, it's a nice thing to do. Agree with me here. His grin gets wider.

"Close your eyes." He says softly. I'm a little freaked out right now, but I trust Kenny. I close my eyes and await his next instructions. He says nothing more, but I can hear him typing on his phone...

"What now?" I ask him, keeping my eyes closed.

"Open them when I say." He commands. I can practically hear the grin in his voice. I'm so confused. So very confused.

What is he planning?

I wait for what must have been quite a few minutes. Like five minutes straight. Sorry, but I'm an inpatient person and five minutes of nothing feels like forever of nothing.

Fuck this.

I open my eyes to discover something that frightens me. I am alone. And I don't know my way back. I wasn't paying full attention to my surroundings when I blindly followed Kenny here. Damnit.

Here I am. Stood in the middle of a small clearing. Lost. Best fucking day to get abandoned by your friends, honestly.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and take it out. It tells me I have one new message.

From... an unknown number?

**U opened ur eyes.**

It must he Kenny, but then again I have his number saved. He must be using someone elses phone. Probably stole one. I've told him a million times about stealing, but he never listens. I decide to text him back.

**U were taking forever to tell me to open them Kenny! Now come get me I'm lost!**

I love him to pieces but sometimes he really pisses me off. So much. And he doesn't normally pull stunts like this. I'm quite scared right now. My gut tells me that any second someone in a costume is going to jump out from a tree and make me shit myself. My phone receives another message.

**I'm not Kenny.**

Wait. What? I blink a couple of times. If this was a prank this is what they'd want me to think...

**Sure u aren't. Now come and get me**.

Fucking stupid bastard. Thinks he can mess with me all the time. I swear when I see Kenny I'll-

"I've wanted to come and get you for ages. And not I am. I'm here."

I would say something like "stop messing with me Kenny", but I can't. Want to know why?

Because as I turn around to look where that familiar voice is coming from, I see Eric Theodore Cartman.

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I'm so sorry if I updated a little late! I hope this made up for it!

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it.**

What did you think of this chapter?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Reviewer questions: What was wrong with Liane? Eric had his reasons for leaving, but what were his reasons for coming back?

Lottie x

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Review responses:

AriJustAri: Never was and never will be! You got that right!

esmtz:I hate Sheila too! And she probably would. In the show she has that horrible and controlling personality that makes me want to punch her in the face! POW!

AnimatedNation: Thank you! And of course he isn't better without Eric! Sorry for making you cry by the way:')

symphknot: Agreed. And thank you so much:) I'm glad you're enjoying it!


	8. Suck it, Sheila

This story has over 1,000 views! I love you people!

**Thank you so much for reading guys! I really appreciate it!**

Disclaimer: I still don't own it... if you were even wondering...

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Chapter 8: Suck it, Skeila.

It's moments like this when I begin to wonder whether I'm dreaming. I didn't expect that today I'd be stood in a forest clearing with Eric Cartman. I'm not even sure how to react, I feel happy and angry. Angry because he left me in the first place.

I mean, what the actual fuck? He thinks after abandoning me he can just waltz back into my life?! Well it doesn't fucking work that way!

I... I can't even speak. I'm so shocked...

I stare at him blankly, waiting for something. Anything. I honestly have no idea what to say right now. Wait, didn't he say he's wanted to come and get me for ages? Why hasn't he?

"Say something." He says, he looks kind of sad. He sounds like he's almost pleading. Almost.

I don't say anything. He sighs.

"Kyle.. please just say something. Tell me I'm a bastard, I don't care. Just speak." Now he sounds defeated, weak. I wonder if Kenny's watching us right now. He obviously helped to set this up...

Maybe I should say something...

"You're a bastard." I say, very quietly. I'm not sure if he even heard me. And by the look on his face, which is unchanged, I'm guessing he didn't.

"What?" He says. Okay, he definitely didn't hear me. I don't repeat myself, I just stare back at him.

It isn't awkward, just upsetting. I'm supposed to be happy when he returns, but I'm only sad. I mean, yes there is some happy feelings in there but all I can focus on right now is the sadness.

He could've come back all this time. He could have saved me from my mother.

He walks closer to me. Do I back away or not? As much as I'm so upset right now...

I just want to touch him again, to make sure this isn't some kind of dream.

He stops right in front of me, so now I have to look up at him. Wonderful.

"What did you say?..." He asks me. Surprisingly, he makes no move to try and touch me or anything. That's actually something I didn't expect.

"I said you're a bastard." I say coldly. Even though I say it in an angry ish tone, he visibly relaxes and smiles a little. I don't return it.

I just can't.

Everything starts to get to me. Kenny, Stan, Eric, my shitty home life, pretending to be things I'm not, never having a choice about anything. Wait until Eric saw he bruises on my arms, that'll show him.

That'll show him what he wasn't here to prevent. To at least help me get through.

I feel tears forming in my eyes. No, I cant cry. Not now. Not like this, when he's just got back.

I look away from his face and look straight in front of me, at his chest. Please don't cry please don't cry please don't cry.

Too late.

The tears start to flow. One after another, I don't think he realised I was crying until I involuntarily let out a chocked sob. Oops.

Everything in my life sucks. So. Fucking. Much.

Almost as soon as I start sobbing, Eric decides to hesitantly put an arm on my shoulder. When I make no move to remove that arm he quickly wraps both of them around me, pulling me against him and allowing me to cry there. It feels good, it makes me feel.. less alone.

"I never thought I'd hear your voice again." I hear him say from above me. His head is on my head.

I feel anger as well as sadness. Simply because he could've come back all this time. And he didn't. I push against him, just hard enough for him to notice because I was weak. He releases his hold on me but looks upset when I start to back away from him.

"Y-You left m-me..." I say. I must look ridiculous, crying and pointing at him. Damnit.

"I know Kyle. I know and I'm so sorry." He tells me, his voice sounds broken. A tear flows down his cheek.

He starts to walk towards me as I'm backing away. It makes me even more upset because I want him near me, I'm just too upset and angry at him at the same time.

"S-Stay away from me," I cry almost desperately, he continues to walk towards me as I back away.

"I can't..." He says, he doesn't cry any more tears but he certainly sounds like shit.

"Stop, just s-stop..." I plead weakly. He doesn't stop, I must've walked back ten metres by now, even though I'm going very slowly.

"I can't..." He repeats. What the hell does he mean he can't?

My back hits the tree behind me and I can only watch as he approaches me. I close my eyes and shake my head, he can't just come back. He left me. He left me. I can't stop crying.

"Look at me." I hear. I just shake my head again. I hear him sigh.

I feel something warm on my cheek, it strokes me gently, like it's scared to break me. I open my eyes and realise it's Eric's hand. He's so close to me now. He presses his forehead against my own and I don't fight it. I can't.

"What can I do?" He asks softly. I don't reply, I just close my eyes again. All the warmth leaves me and when I open my eyes, I see Eric backing away. He turns around and walks into the middle of the clearing.

I stare at his back. He could leave. He could leave again and never come back. I won't be able to cope, not after I finally have him again. Wait...

He's giving up on me.

He thinks things have changed too much. He probably thinks I don't love him. He probably thinks I hate him. He probably thinks I don't forgive him. He doesn't know what to do.

"You can never leave me again." I say to him, loudly. Loud so he hears it and so it sinks in, really sinks in.

That changes everything. I know that after I said that. He turns around, staring at me with a changed expression. He still looks sad, but hopeful too. The distance between us gets smaller and smaller rapidly as he walks, no, strides over to me. His hands hold either side of my face, he looks like he's inspecting me. What the fuck?

"Kyle?!" He says. He seems happier, but I don't know what's going on to be honest.

"Yes?" I ask, confused.

"You're okay?!" He says happily. Okay. What. The. Fuck.

"Yes?" I say unsurely.

"I thought you were like, broken. I thought you were so depressed and messed up and shit that you weren't even you. That you hated me..." He trails off, but still looks me in the eyes. I feel like he's expecting something, but I have no idea what.

I didn't even realize it, but I stopped crying... at some point. Hey, don't look at me like that! I was focused on all this shit that's going on! Jesus!

I smile a little at his crazy theories, he notices immediately and smiles back. I can't fight this. I lean forward and press my lips against his in a kiss. A weak kiss, but a kiss.

He returns it, making everything better. He kisses me over and over again, Long and passionately. I can't believe this is all happening. I can't believe I'm kissing Eric Cartman, who I haven't seen for months and who I thought I'd never see again.

He them starts to kiss not only my lips, but on my face. My nose , my cheeks and then down to kiss my neck. I relax against the tree, threading a hand through his hair.

His beautiful, soft brow hair.

He stops shortly after it started and looks at me. He strikes my cheek again and I reach out to put my hands on his chest. They kind of just rest there.

"I saw you." He suddenly says. This puzzles me.

"Huh?" I question dumbly.

"I saw you. At Starks Pond with Kenny. I can see what he sees aswell sometimes." He elaborates. It all starts to become clearer.

"Oh..." Is all I can manage. The tone of my voice encourages him to say more.

"When you told Kenny nothing had changed since I left... that's when I knew I could come back... because you needed me. I didn't know Kyle, I swear I would've been here if I knew she still..." He isn't able to finish that sentence. He freezes in thought for a second before looking down and gripping my coat sleeve. He uses both hands, one to hold my hand and one to pull the coat sleeve up, revealing all my bruises.

I remove his hands and move my coat sleeve back to its original place. He sighs.

"You don't have to say it," I say. He looks at me. He knows what I'm talking about, "I know my mom's a bitch." I finish.

He smirks at me playfully. But it quickly vanishes as he looks like he's just thought of something bad.

"What is it?" I ask.

"Your mom," He says, "she threatened my mom. Told her to stay away from you and to keep me away or she'd make her regret it." He tells me. I'm shocked, but at least I have an answer to why Liane acted to weird earlier.

"I wish I had nothing to do with her..." I admit sadly. Eric puts a hand on my shoulder and looks ad though he's contemplating something.

"Live with me." He suddenly says.

"W-What?" I ask, wondering if I heard him correctly

"Move into my house. Live with me." He says. I stare at him, seriously considering this. I mean, I really want to get away from my mom.

"Won't your mom mind?" I ask.

"No. I've already spoke to her about it." He replies. Wow, he's really been thinking about this.

"I know it's crazy... but I'd really like that." I admit. He smiles happily and pulls me against him into a hug. I laugh a little and return it.

"I love you, Kyle." He says.

"I love you too, Eric." I tell him, feeling happier than I've felt in a long time.

A very long time.

I knew that from that moment on, things would get better. We'd deal with my mom, together. And me and Eric would finally be able to be happy and I could get along with school.

Oh, and I wouldn't be a lawyer.

Suck it, Sheila.

The end.

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And that's the end. That was my first Kyman fic, and fic in general.

**Thank you guys so much for reading, I really appreciate it**.

What did you think of this story?

Feel free to leave a review! Constructive criticism is highly welcomed!

Lottie x

* * *

Review responses:

AriJustAri: Everything's gonna be okay! And it was Kenny and Cartman! They worked together! Those sneaky bastards! Anyway, thank you so much for reading and leaving the many reviews you did. I really hope you enjoyed my story and I can tell you that I plan to upload more:)

esmtz: Thank you! Did I do a good conclusion?:3

I really appreciate your feedback, thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed the story and I plan to upload more in the future!


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